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too far apart?

(5 Posts)
galleywench100 Mon 03-Oct-11 20:57:38

Hi
I just wanted some advice please.
I have been with my bloke for almost 2 years now. We met through work and were both going through divorces when we met.

There is an age gap between us of 13 years. He has 2 grown up children from his marriage and I have 1 child from my previous marriage.

I have been getting quite broody recently, I'm not getting any younger and he obviously isnt either.

He has said at times that he wouldnt want anymore children as he is at the stage in his life when he can enjoy his life and doesnt want a baby in the equation. He accepts my child and he is now at the stage where we can do things and hes happy to.

The trouble is, will i get over this broodyness and resent him or can i just move forward and be content with what I have in terms of family.

He is a wonderful man in every way.

Many thanks.

KatieScarlett2833 Mon 03-Oct-11 21:16:55

Can't speak for your DP but

The very idea of having another child after bringing up 2 would send me even more crazy.

I've been there, done that, don't ever want to do it again, much as I worship my DC's.

Only you can decide what is more important to you.

Sorry, no help, but I would be the same as your DP.

Helltotheno Mon 03-Oct-11 21:26:31

He's laid it out for you op. If you see more children in your life, then quite probably they won't be with him and you should move on.

kunahero Mon 03-Oct-11 21:31:42

Sounds familiar to me!!1
Dw and I have a 12 year age gap and I had 2 kids from 1st marraige.
When I first met dw we went out on a date and I told her that I would never get married again and certainly didnt want any more dc.... (too old at 37).
THings did change quite qucikly as I realised she was the one I wanted to be with forever and she luckily thought she'd give me a go... despite her mums reservations.
We were married within 11 months and continued happily as a couple for a few years having my kids staying during hols. Then four years ago dw said she had had a change of mind and would likeme to think about having another dc. I was now even older and much against the idea but gave it some thought and decided that if dw really wanted a dc then i would not stop her so we started planning. Dw is a planner and palnned everything to have healthy dc but thanks to my super sperm she got pregnant a month ahead of schedule.
Any way to cut a long/boring ramble short we now have the most awesome dd. She has made my life so much richer (though not £££) she has made me happier and a better dad. Being an older dad (47) dd 3 is just the best thing ever. I am calmer, more patient and enjoying fatherhood so much more as an older dad.
Let your dh know that another dc wont be the end of his 'fun' life but the start of a whole new even more fun life. I can be like a 3 year old again without getting funny looks!!
if you had told me four years ago that I would be happy to have a young dd I would have had you certified but being a dad again is just brilliant.
Money is tight and work is tough but I would not be without her and she has made my lfe so much better.

galleywench100 Mon 03-Oct-11 22:09:59

thank you all and kunahero, i think thats secretly what I'm hoping for, but he is adament.

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