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waxing :(

(63 Posts)
eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 13:35:45

Hello Ladies, I should have name changed.

All morning I've been in a bit of a mood. It all started last week when I was having my usual brazillian wax and I noticed they have a service for men too. I called DH to book him in and he refused to go saying that it's uncomfortable with the idea of someone of any gender covering his intimate parts in hot wax and ripping it off. He won't mind if I do it though.

During my pregnancy a few years ago, I did beg my DH to have a wax and he did comply, rightly or wrongly, I was feeling like my body was going through too many things for my DH to understand and the expectation of delivery just felt too high, while the act was grossly under appreciated. I don't know how or why I justified his being waxed as a good compromise, but the result made me insanely happy. Those six weeks were fantasmic. At the appointment he did make me promise that it was a one off, and I did have to go with him and hold his hand.

The problem is, I have such an aversion to body hair I cannot wax him. He won't be waxed by a professional, but does complain if I'm not pruned to perfection regularly.

While reading another thread, I realized how much I would like to tap a nice, firm and hairless male butt--perhaps even give it a squeeze but I don't really find myself being able to find a male stripper/male prostitute and paying to do it. I just couldn't do it, I wouldn't be comfortable for anyone to ever do that to me without feeling demeaned, except my own DH. I would very comfortably be able to sqeeze his butt.

I know my DH and I need to have a conversation about this since it is bothering me enough to actually post about it, but I need to find a way to come to some sort of reasonable compromise.

I will not stop being waxed because I find my own amount of hairiness unappealing, and I don't think him shaving would be good because the stubble is uncomfortable--although he does this to make me happy.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for any help you do offer. smile

GypsyMoth Mon 03-Oct-11 13:39:14

I can't help but feel a bit sorry for your DH !

SinicalSal Mon 03-Oct-11 13:39:41

I'm no fan of waxing nethers tbh for a variety of reasons, so I'm kind of on your DH's side. No-one should be coerced into it, it seems you personally are not, so why should he be.

I would be wary of him complaining about your regrowth though while not being prepared to do it himself. Sauce for the goose and all that.

cjbartlett Mon 03-Oct-11 13:41:10

jeezus! leave the poor man be!

eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 13:43:29

I understand it's not his cup of tea, I should mention this new place I'm going is pretty pain free as far as waxing can possibly go...or maybe I'm just used to it by now.

Do you think hypnotherapy might be an idea for one of us? Has anyone tried it? either for his pain during waxing or my agony over hair?

SarahBumBarer Mon 03-Oct-11 13:49:06

Cj to be fair, OP does say that her DH "does complain if I'm not pruned to perfection regularly".

So if he is going to go on at her she can certainly give as good back IMO. Not that doing so will solve the problem.

ColdToast Mon 03-Oct-11 13:49:29

Save the money you would have spent on waxing and use it to pay for some counselling to help you with your issues about body hair.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 03-Oct-11 13:49:51


Dh does his bum so it doesn't get spotty.

eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 13:53:12

Veet-- the hair removing cream?

doesn't it sometimes burn? We haven't tried it, but was told of this predicament which is why we haven't tried it. However, if you have had a positive experience of it, we could maybe look into it more!

NormanTebbit Mon 03-Oct-11 13:54:16

Christ leave the poor guy alone.

What's all this stuff about making him get a wax because you were about to give birth? Can you explain more because that is very odd behaviour.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 03-Oct-11 13:56:56

The one with aloe vera doesn't hurt at all. No burning, just leave it on a little longer as pubic hair is coarser - perhaps 7 minutes.

eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 14:00:02

There isn't much to explain. I was pregnant and for some reason I felt justified to ask him to do this, I think it was because waxing was quite painful during pregnancy and since he couldn't give birth he could go through waxing and experience what I was going through. That's it really.

is this what you are suggesting? It's a great idea, I'll ask DH tonight! the gel cream?

eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 14:00:29

oh, and thank you so very much!

bibbitybobbityhat Mon 03-Oct-11 14:03:44

That is truly one of the strangest ops I have ever read. I'm afraid I glazed over a bit when we got on to smooth buttocked male prostitutes. I genuinely wonder what help you think the good folk of Mumsnet can be with your dilemma?

SirSugar Mon 03-Oct-11 14:04:07

I understand sharesies in a relationship but this is ridiculous. Do you understand how ridiculous this sounds? YABVU

eandz Mon 03-Oct-11 14:10:57

I do very much understand that this thread is on the other side of crazy. I do.

NormanTebbit Mon 03-Oct-11 14:11:58

Oh I missed the bit about him expecting ayou to wax. Frankly I'd say get the Veet and recommend he leaves it on just a bit longer to really make sure all the hair is gone wink

Or - why don't you both try hairy? You never know you both might like it!

IvyAndGold Mon 03-Oct-11 14:13:39

bibbity, you took the words right out of my mouth!

Badtasteflump Mon 03-Oct-11 14:15:12

Are you serious OP? Leave the poor man's hairy bits alone!

Unless he's really hairy, that is....

LadyWord Mon 03-Oct-11 14:16:51

Good god, this is madness. FGS embrace the hairiness!

I like a nice hairy arse meself.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 03-Oct-11 14:16:54

You have been, and are being, irrational as removing body hair by waxing or other means should be the free choice of the individual and not a compulsion.

I think you need to work out why you 'have such an aversion to body hair'. Counselling may reveal the reason(s) with hypnotherapy to overcome any particularly resistant fear(s) that cannot be resolved by a talking therapy.

As for your dh complaining if you're 'not pruned to perfection regularly', either he has a similar or related aversion or he's simply become accustomed to your 'bald eagle' look.

HedleyLamarr Mon 03-Oct-11 14:19:29

Love is getting a back, sack, and crack?
<Files away for future reference>

LaurieFairyCake Mon 03-Oct-11 14:22:58

He just uses the one I use, didn't know there was a 'manly' one grin

Seriously, any will do. I do his shoulders with it too as he has a few clumps rogue hairs.

I think the days or hair removing cream burning are long gone.

Kayzr Mon 03-Oct-11 14:23:31

They're his hairy bits not yours and I don't think you can ask him to have them waxed.

I wouldn't dream of asking dp to have his waxed ever. I do mine because I want too and DP has never said anything about me doing it.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 03-Oct-11 14:35:37

Message withdrawn

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