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Well... That's me ignored for another month...(28 Posts)
DH just bought FIFA 2012
I am going to have to keep an eye on this otherwise he will play it all the time and I'll get so worked up I will want to tear my hair out.
What do your Partners do that winds you up/ gets you ignored?
Being ignored for a game is crap isn't it. DP plays online games, sometimes for up to 10 hours at a time. Then when he eventually logs off at say 1am and wants to cuddle up for a movie, which is what I've been wanting to do all evening, he complains that I fall asleep ten minutes into it. What does he expect??? it's 1am, i've been up since 7am, I get four hours sleep tops with baby and also have two older kids to take care of. Why not log off earlier more often (he does so occasionally) so we can enjoy more time together? Surely its just being considerate and its really not good for our relationship when we're practically two separate entities for the majority of most evenings.
We actually argued about that yesterday when I fell asleep during his favourite movie. I really wanted to watch it but it was 1.30am and I was knackered. Basically he told me he'll play as long as he wants, log when he wants and spend time with me when he's in the mood because all I do is fall asleep anyway and then I suggest if he logged earlier I wouldn't be asleep...and round and round we go... It sucks but after the events of today I think gaming is the least of my worries... but that's another story entirely
Hello my name is elesbells, and I'm a COD widow
Seriously though, it gets on my bloody nerves. 10 hours a day in this house is full of war I totally get the 'waiting to snuggle up for a film then falling asleep' thing...we argue constantly about this.
They are supposed to be grown men ffs. Can you imagine if we said 'sorry I didn't cook dinner tonight....I was playing the computer' they would think we were crazy....
As my DH is a parent he doesn't have the time for online games and his wife and so gaming is non existent. Honestly I don't think I could respect a grown up, let alone find them attractive, who played games for hours.
However if you have all day I can list the things that DH does that annoy me:
Hogs the remote, switches over slowly, watches Only fools and horses (yawn and dire), drops his 't's, asks "What have you done all day?" when we have six children playing in the house and it's untidy, snores, puts his elbows out in bed hogging some of my side, 'likes' sexist and twatty jokes his friends make on FB.....and sometimes the way he breathes!!
me and DP play video games together, i tend to be more of a gamer than him.
however he will ignore me in favor of washing his car...
DH plays WoW too but he has a schedule that he sticks to that is very good and we get around that
DP did agree he would play less especially after baby came but he's fallen back into it at the expense of our 'us' time. WoW or LoL eat up most of his evenings/days off. Of course I understand he needs to unwind after work and he does that by gaming which he sees as escapism, that's fine... but it's the sheer amount of hours he puts in!! We have played together at times but he gets narked if we die a lot lol.
I'm quite happy to channel surf for a bit in the evening when the kids are settled, pratt around on my laptop, I'm quite capable of entertaining myself but there comes a point in most evenings when I think helllooo any chance of doing something together before I pass out???
Did these men all do the same when you were first dating? If yes, then I think you knew this was likely to happen. If no, then they need to sort their priorities and relax with you, as I am sure they did when you first got together. Tbh I couldn't live with someone like that so mucho sympathy.
My dh messes around with cars, but he has one afternoon a week set aside (he will dO family stuff if needed) and then will do it evenings/weekends if everything else is done and we don't have plans. Again I said I would like to watch a film with him, he would. Gaming just seems so obsessive
So glad you started this thread. My dh tends to go "deaf" when he is watching tele or playing games. I say he is in Lighthouse mode (the lights are on but no one is in). I spend most of my life talking to myself. So glad I found Mumsnet!
I can't stand computer games. There is nothing more unattractive than the sight of a grown man pretending to be a dwarf or a warlock or whatever online or hogging the sofa playing with a console. Honestly I just could not have that in the house! Shoot me
I would fully expect that a grown man, particularly one with children, would give his time for his family, not while away hour after hour in fantasy land.
And even when kids are in bed and wifey busy, well, it's just a bit childish, isn't it?
ExP plays computer games now, but didn't when we were together. I'm glad it is something he has rediscovered AFTER me.
Sport - it's always bloody bloody sport. Doesn't matter if it's on tv, or if he's watching or playing.
Oh and snoring
I just throughly kick his arse at sports games. Then he tends to not want to play anymore
DH have very little on TV that we both enjoy: at the mo it is 71 degrees north, idiot abroad and xfactor. We always watch these together, and the rest of our 'down time' is spent doing other stuff. I mumsnet, he plays COD, we go to pub quiz together or out for tea, this morning we put up the pram and played with that for a good hour or so.
If DH did NOT have COD, he would annoy me with needing to be entertained when I want some downtime.
My parents sit infront of the TV each evening, barely talking, watching TV that only one or neither of them wants to, simply because they feel they should be near one another in order to remain close.
Gaming is not all bad.
I listened to dh playing cod and I can hear men saying goodnight to their kids, which is a bit sad.
My DP is a gamer, been gaming a lot of the day today. Thing is, I have been with controlling/abusive/possessive guys in the past. DP was a godsend for me. As much as he games, if I really need him then he's there. He's a good guy and has been there for me when everyone else bailed. 3 months into our relationship I had to go for counselling because of past stuff, this might have scared some guys but not him. He wanted to support me.
Before DP I was with a guy who was literally clingy. I would be trying to eat my breakfast and he would be clung around me like a child CONSTANTLY. I wasn't allowed girls nights, he was around 24/7. I knew then (6 months of emotional abuse and possessiveness later...) that I'm an independent person and need someone who (as my mum always says about DP) 'can entertain themselves'. We will be going home for Xmas and he won't be able to game but he won't sulk, he will get a jigsaw out and do it or play with my parents dog even though he's really allergic to it.
I don't know what I'm rabbiting on about really. My DP is a gamer, plays a lot but I don't mind it He's there when I need him and that's fine with me.
Mine goes metal detecting Kayano and is obsessed with restoring coins.
Me: DH would you like to watch a film tonight or go for a drive?
DH: No Pam, I'm cleaning my coins.
DP has FIFA, I love it because I can play my games, or sit next to him reading and chatting, or sew, and he's not looking for me to entertain him all evening when I want to chill out and do my stuff.
Usually it's me being moaned at for playing games.
Of course he doesn't put it on until after the kids are in bed, which I think is important, they need quiet wind down time with telly off and he needs to do some interacting with them... so that's a house rule.
DH was a gamer when we met and even paid for me to try wow when we were dating. I played for years, and to the poster a few above me ... I was a gnome warlock lol
I can't really complain as such and he does his fair of housework but Still... It's every year like clockwork that it 'gets worse'
When FIFA and Football Manager come out...
Just finding it tough because this is the first year being pregnant and I'm knackered and want a hug
Dh got FIFA and will play it when I'm at work or reading, it doesn't bother me really but it'd piss me off if he was on it all the time but because of the noise more than anything.
I'm waiting for my game of choice to be delivered in a couple of weeks then I'll be playing that upstairs and downstairs he'll be playing FIFA
The more I read these kind of threads, the more I realize how incredibly lucky I got with DP. I am another one who finds a grown-up gamer ridiculous (I mean the ones who spend more than 3-4 hours a day playing, hence making it an addiction, not the ones who play occasionally).
I really have to think hard to find things that annoy me of my DP... If I had to say two very minor ones, here they are:
- When he is in "working mode", he ignores anything else completely, including me. It is logical when he is at work, but he also does it on a Saturday night when he gets a call from any workmate, or anything work-related. However, having said this, he has overcome being a workaholic for me, so these small things are the only bits left of a man who worked 16 hours a day, weekends, and took his work laptop to holidays... so it really is no biggie.
- When he is talking to someone on the phone he is unable to tell them "I am busy now, will call you later". He just lets the person talk and talk and talk, while dinner gets cold, for example. I used to get angry at this, now I just say loudly (so the person on the phone hears it): "honey, dinner is on the table", so he really has to hang up.
My DP loves his gaming, anything zombie, shooting, football based. I don't mind he works a pretty intense job (police officer) so he needs his unwinding time. Although he doesnt play for hours, he'll always pause the game every 15mins or so and come to the lounge to give me a kiss and a cheeky smile. Having said that when I'm in bed and all I can hear is zombies having their heads chopped off it is pretty difficult to sleep. I surprised him with FIFA 12 on Friday so I can have a break from such noises
Oh someone kinda told me what FIFA 12 stands for:
<ding ding!> One ticket for the FIFA/Football Manager Widow Express please!
We have been having huffs and moaning and frumpy faces because apparently 'the defense controls have changed'. Oh, right. Damn.
ArtyFartyPants that MUST be what it stands for! Scottish DP, who was insisting DD have a Scottish name, found out that Fifa is a really old Scottish name. You should have seen his face when it was vetoed!
Says "can I get" rather than "please may I have"- he's not American so this is a stupid affectation
Cannot walk into a room without tidying something
Perpetually checks blackberry for football results
Disappears to the bathroom the moment I put food on the table
Always lies down on sofa (thus occupying whole thing) rather than sitting on it
Will not get dressed on Sat/Sun mornings but wanders round in slightly obscene dressing gown
Am just grateful that we don't have an X box- would drive me mad
My OH loves games but I am worse
He will watch me play and genuinely enjoy it, I think there is nothing more boring that watching another person play!
It irrationally annoys me that OH will go to bed at 10, sleep till 9, then profess the need for a nap around 3 before trotting off to bed at 10 again! I could do with that much sleep, but even if I am lying around doing nothing (as opposed to busy I mean) I feel I have wasted the day if I go to bed too early.
DH has FIFA.
Don't really care as he'll always ignore it for us when asked.
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