I think I'm the type of person you all hate

[QuestionTime]

Hi all.
Basically want some sense knocked into me and I know without question you are the people to do it! Basically I feel like the ultimate cliche.
I'm 26, blonde and I'm told very pretty (I don't have a lot of confidence and my dh isn't the demonstrative type so struggle to see it myself.) Anyway last week we had a very drunken night out and in the cab home (we shared as we live near each other) the big boss of our department came on to me. Stroking legs, trying to kiss me etc. I was totally surprised- he is generally quite flirty to all the girls but I never saw this happening. In the end I pretended to fall asleep cos he is so senior I didn't want to piss him off but didnt know what to do.
Next day at work I thought he would have forgotten all about it as we were all so pissed the night before but nope- the messages started coming.
I flirted back, which I know I shouldn't have. I find him very attractive and it was a buzz but it's such dangerous waters. Plus we are both married- him for 24 years.
He wants to meet up when he us back in the office in a month. I am so tempted but know that I must not and that this is all so wrong. My head has been turned like a silly little idiot.
I just can't get him out of my mind- and every time I try he sends more messages. I keep trying to think about his poor wife and my lovely dh to stop my self responding in kind. It sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.
So please ladies with the benefit of your experiences give me a giant kick up the arse.

[StealthPolarBear]

don't forget us readheds ChippingIn
I'm young too (well, compared to Judi Dench)

[Curiousmama]

What ChippingIn said. Dp's friends sad gits hit on me cos I'm a bit of a looker apparently but I certainly don't let it inflate my ego. I'd never be flattered by someone who just wanted a fuck.

[dannyblanchflower]

Being young, pretty and blonde does not make you hateable - breaking up marriages because you can't keep your pants on in the face of flirtation by a man with no respect for his wife or you does.

[ConstanceNoring]

I have no experience of cheating on anyone, plenty of being cheated on, so I can't give any advice as such but I am quite happy to give you this..





you're welcome

[Curiousmama]

Actually re-reading the op alarm bells ring at the dh. Why isn't he demonstrative? Think you need to address this. Does he compliment you?

[QuestionTime]

Thank you for your posts. You are all right - especially in relation to the numbers game I think.
However I was in no way meaning to insult you ladies. Surely I can say I am young/old, fat/thin without meaning everyone else is the opposite!?

[SardineQueen]

Do not do anything even messaging with this work bloke. It's just a terrible idea.

Talk to your DH about how you would like him to show more how he feels (do you show him how you feel?) and see how you can improve the relationship that you have.

[CristinadellaPizza]

Oh and in addition, if you do shag him and it becomes an embarrassment, your career where you are is finito. As far as your employer is concerned, you are probably eminently replaceable whereas he is going to be much less so.

[Lacuna]

Consider your arse kicked.

And have a for being so ickle and pretty, too.

[SardineQueen]

I think if you say that you are the sort of person others hate because of your looks means that you think you are better looking than them, yes.

FYI your description covers many women on MN.

[wamster]

Well he obviously fancies you. Let's be clear about that-you're young, blonde and pretty and men go for you. It is frankly naive to think that he doesn't fancy you.
You're flattered that's true-you're only human, older guys with power are an aphrodisiac.
I'm not denying his feelings or your feelings. Crikey, you're both only human.

If you go for it-let's be honest here, you can in a heartbeat- you would risk losing your dh.

Is it worth it? Ask yourself that.

[bluelaguna]

This has nothing to do with what you look like.

This has to do with the fact that your boss is an arrogant, cheating arsehole. This is the type of person "we all hate". He wants a sordid affair and, like you say, this is a cliche. "Important" boss men up and down the country do this and FWIW the one I know who did this, did it with a short, dumpy and not particularly pretty colleague. Lets hope the difference between you and this girl is that she was willing and you won't be. Not what you look like! If there was another girl in your position, he would have tried it on with her - these men are selfish and arrogant - and they want a shag!

Tell him you love your husband.

[QuestionTime]

I am always telling dh I love him and think he is gorgeous. He never tells me. In fact he tells me I am chubby and need more exercise ( i am a size 10 btw.) I suppose that is why I haven't nipped this thing in the bud sooner- is so lovely to feel desired

[MissFenella]

You are walking into a cliche.

It's not worth it and his penis will turn out to be like a bookies pencil.

[ConstanceNoring]

Then you both need a kick up the arse. Deal with your problems with DH, don't look elsewhere for attention.

[Thingiebob]

Oh my word! Do you want to lose your husband, break up a marriage, lose your job and feel used/sordid as well?

If so, fuck the guy.

He might even be really, really shit in bed.
Now that really would be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it?

[wamster]

Actually, I think it is a bit presumptuous to assume anything about the boss-for all we know the opening poster is his dream woman!-it is the op and her relationship and family that matters.

[PamBeesly]

You should not have anything to do with your boss, if he treats you any differently because you spurned his advances he is breaking the law. Just don't do it.
Also don't allow your husband to get away with calling you chubby when you are not, wtf is that about? Of course its nice to feel desired but we shouldn't be slaves to it, its not the be all and end all.
Basically I'd say, although you may find it difficult, start finding things in yourself (besides your looks) that you can have some pride in and don't be so 'flattered' by male attention and please don't look for validation in men about yourself. I don't hate you from your OP and I'm sure other people in RL don't hate you either.

[ConstanceNoring]

There are four major things wrong with what you are comtemplating:-

Cheating on your DH
Shagging your boss
Shagging someone's husband
Demeaning yourself


I get the feeling you're going to go ahead with it anyway so I'll say no more.

[Curiousmama]

Don't think I'd be always telling someone who didn't give me compliments how lush they were?

[TheMitfordsMaid]

I've only ever read the phrase "head turned" in a Catherine Cookson novel. Is this term now being used by 20 somethings?

Why would I hate you for being blonde and pretty? I couldn't give a toss what you look like.