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How do I make friends?

(11 Posts)
Bellar82 Fri 30-Sep-11 13:53:47

lol Very sad subject but here goes ...

I have recently moved back to Birmingham after living abroad for four years, I have a 1 year old and I'm getting married next year, it seems that all of the friends that I had before I left have now all moved away and now I don't seem to have any friends at all in my area!! So, the question is, how do I meet new people? I have tried a mother and toddler club but it was very clicky and didn't see any of the ladies out side of the club. I am getting married next year and I literally have no one to invite apart from family. I would just love to have girly chats and be able to meet up with other ladies for coffee / shopping etc

inmysparetime Fri 30-Sep-11 13:58:59

See if your local church has a group for young families, or contact NCT or sure start about meet-ups. Mumsnet local is a way to arrange your own meet-ups, or just go to the park and push your DC on the swings for a bit, someone is usually around and you can just get chatting.
I wish adults found it as easy to make friends as kids do, I would get looks of horror if I approached a potential friend and said "look! I have a tummy button!"grin

BobblyGussets Fri 30-Sep-11 13:59:37

OP, I didn't really hit it off at all in the toddler play scenario, but I did make friends when my 1st was only one with some "young grannies" in the area, so my point is, it might be that people in an old age group may be more available/interested.

Also, a class where you are doing something rather than alone, watching your lo play whilst the other mum's chat at toddler group (I've been there).
So swimming class or "Music with Mummy" or "Music Bugs" or Gym tots might be for you. Try googling for local classes.

Best of luck, I feel your pain.

buzzskillington Fri 30-Sep-11 14:19:04

Perhaps try an evening class - art & craft, a language, yoga, aerobics?

Flyonthewindscreen Fri 30-Sep-11 14:58:05

If the first toddler group seems clicky, try some others. I went through a number when I was a SAHM in a new area with a baby and a toddler and again when I moved with school agers. If it feels like a chore going to a particular group, try elsewhere. I also found that as the new girl you do have to make the effort to strike up conversation, again if a particular group/person is not friendly, move on. I know some MNers are v against the toddler/school gates social scene but I personally have made some good friends there.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brodanbell Fri 30-Sep-11 15:36:22

Have you checked out Meetup.com? Just plug in Birmingham (UK obviously, not Alabama!) and see what comes up. You can even set your own group up and see who joins. I found it very useful when I moved to a new city and had to forge new friendships. I signed up for lots of different groups, took a deep breath and joined in. Some were admittedly complete duds, but others were a success and I've made a handful of good friends from various groups, and in turn I have met other people through them.

caramelwaffle Fri 30-Sep-11 16:05:51

Meet up.com (Birmingham)

caramelwaffle Fri 30-Sep-11 16:06:41

Or What brodanbell said ^ grin

cleanteeth Fri 30-Sep-11 19:59:21

Agree with kamer, I posted something along the same lines 9 months ago but I carried on with going to different play groups and have now found 2 good friends from those groups. Alot of the first ones I went to did seem clicky but I think thats a lot to do with them all being from the same NCT class most of the time. As DS got older we started going to different groups for his age and there seemed to be a wider range of parents at them that didnt have any sort of click.

Also agree with taking up a hobby like yoga or painting or something.

Finding friends can be a bit like dating sometimes, the other woman you meet might be feeling a bit shy aswell so you sometimes need to "make the first move" by suggesting going for a coffee/lunch/playdate.

Bellar82 Fri 30-Sep-11 20:32:05

Many thanks for the advice from everyone, I can't really take up a hobby as my partner works nights so there would be no one to look after our little girl. I am going to try a few more mother and toddler groups in the area though and see how I get on. Thanks again x

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