I posted on here twice you may remember but if not short re cap.
Married for 23 years with two boys 15 and 21. Last September DH told me he had been having an affair for 8 months. I wanted to give our marriage a chance and said I would give him another chance. I waited 6 weeks for him to make up his mind (yes stupid I know) and he chose her. I got over Christmas and felt by February I was turning a corner. Going days without crying and even able to listen to music again. Then out of the blue I got an E-mail from him asking to give things another go how he still loved us all and realised what a terrible mistake he had made (everything was fine with OW ) I thought about it for a month and said yes but he would have to move somewhere neutral and make his return gradual going out together coming round for tea etc...... this is what the kids wanted too a gradual return.
Anyway 10 days into it on Mothers Day April 3th I found a chat e mail between him and her they had slept together and were telling each other how much they loved each other. I read it and threw up.
I met him a week later and told him he had blew it big time and I wouldn't have him back.
I hate myself because I miss him so much and still love him very much. I'm so lonely spending night after night in front of the TV. Don't have many friends and of those I do have have been good to me since September when it all started. I now feel like the miserable friend who goes on all the time about her dh. When I do go out all I want is to get back home. Everything seems worse this time so miserable and dyeing inside. My boys are wonderful the eldest is at uni and was going to move out last October but he said "mum I will stay my brother has lost his Dad he doesn't need to loose his brother too" how amazing is that. They both wont have anything to do with their Dad. I have never felt this unhappy ever in my life. It seems to be getting worse with time not better.
I wrote that last June and I don't feel much better hate myself for feeling like this how oh how do I get back on track ? still crying far too much at my wits end please help me.
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Relationships
How do I get on with my life please ?
fortyfairy · 29/09/2011 19:15
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