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Moving on after abusive partner

(7 Posts)
lentilbake Tue 27-Sep-11 22:35:23

It's early days and i guess the emotioanl scars will last a lot longer than the physical but I just feel in such despair. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about the abuse which is one fo the reasons i took a while to leave i think. He used to cause a lot of sleepless nights as he would wake me up when i have a sleep disorder as it is and he sleeps really well by telling me he couldn't remember where he put the monthly bus pass or that he was going to not start the job tomorrow that he had been offered as he didnt want to give me any money. I found the sleepless nights one of the worst things about him - i would often be too upset after an argument to sleep, he always upset me just before bed.

Now I am away from him, my children settled early i was going to bed at 9 and here i am wide awake now as I haev been thinking about what a *** he is and also worrying about if he will catch up with me and if so what will he do?

I used to go from being scared he will kill me to wishing he would so i didn't have to put up with him any more

issey6cats Tue 27-Sep-11 22:43:39

sorry i dont have any advice as my ex wasnt as bad as yours but all i can say is each day will get better and each day when you wake up say to yourself today will be a better day than yesterday big non MN hug for you

HerHissyness Tue 27-Sep-11 23:50:07

It's OK. We all feel like that in the beginning.

My X was 2000 miles away, but it took what felt like forever to realise that he would never again put a key in the lock.

Why not call WA, they are quieter at night, so you ought to get through, and have a chat with them about how you feel.
I did this recently, I'd worked myself up into a little frenzy and was panicking about things. They have heard it all before love, you can talk to them with no fear, no shame. There will be no judging of you. they know, as do we, that you didn't choose this. he did.

Come over and chat with us on the [http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1308894-Support-for-those-in-emotionally-abusive-relationships-5]] thread?

You did the right thing love, you got out. Well done, that took amazing courage.

Remember that it took a long time for you to be so trapped, and it will take some time for your recovery. ha ha, that is something I need to tell myself!

come on over to the thread?

HerHissyness Tue 27-Sep-11 23:50:24

nuts, here is the link www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1308894-Support-for-those-in-emotionally-abusive-relationships-5

AnyFucker Tue 27-Sep-11 23:55:06

oh, you poor love

I just want to hold your hand for a minute and tell you it will be ok

Well done to you for getting away, no matter how long it took

No wonder you are so unsettled, not for nothing is sleep deprivation used as a form of torture

that thread hissy mentioned will help you lots, and what support have you in RL ?

it sounds like a good time to call in some favours ? You need some RL hand holding I reckon x

HerHissyness Thu 29-Sep-11 10:25:13

lentilbake, how are you feeling today? care to talk to us? thinking of you.

MadameOvary Thu 29-Sep-11 10:30:02

Lentilbake, you are not alone! Hope you join us on the thread above. There are plenty of us who have got out, and plenty working their way through the mire of an abusive relationship.
Well done to you. smile

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