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What to expect from Relate Counselling?

(5 Posts)
SmugisaDrug Tue 27-Sep-11 11:47:49

I've had a terrible first year of marriage with DH and I suggested counselling which he agreed to which is a great first step. We've had the introductory session with Relate where they asked us questions which was great, then 6 weeks later (too long to wait imo) we had our first session.

DH is still confused as to why we need to go, but I'd prepared my key reasons of his bad behaviour. Making ridiculous threats to get me to do what he wants (not scary threats just a bad way to communicate. "Feed the baby now or I'm giving her a bottle" "Do this now or I'm taking away the car keys")

He won't do anything I say - particularly when it's to do with the baby and I ask him not to do something which I know will wake her up.

Anyway when I used the opportunity of counselling to say this, in the hope that we could get him to stop, he got really pissed off at me. He said there's no point doing counselling if I'm just going to slag him off.

I just wonder what to expect from the sessions. The counsellor says it is a safe space where we can talk to each other. But is she going to make recommendations to us? Or are we just going to sit for an hour each week having an argument?

bumbums Tue 27-Sep-11 12:09:17

About to start counselling with my DH after 6yrs of marraige and 2 DCs. Will watch this thread with interest. Good luck.

charliebear100 Tue 27-Sep-11 22:34:04

Just went to our first relate session tonight.

We had a great councillor who managed to see through what we were saying and what we really meant. This first session wasn't a proper 'counselling session', but just to see if relate could help us. We had time though to air what was going on - mostly she did a lot of listening, asked a few questions, then at the end summed it all up beautifully so I think she gets the whole issue I have that DP cannot see! He found it useful as he agreed to make it a weekly occurrence.

I've never known any couple on the verge of separation come out the other side through relate though!! Any success stories please......!

babyocho Tue 27-Sep-11 22:41:08

mine made me think about how we were (or in our case not) communicating with each other.

it was too late for us though, not together now. we should have gone way sooner than we did, but in my defence i didnt realise that there was an issue with our relationship! which could be seen as part of the problem. (and it did turn out that rather than talking to me/trying to fix, his solution was to have an affair).

RabbitPie Tue 27-Sep-11 23:22:16

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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