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I feel

(24 Posts)
headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 17:49:26

Like I'm just existing together rather than being a couple?
I think it's definitely me. I just want to be on my own all the time. I know I love him but I just feel like I want to just shut myself off into my own world. I sound like a bitch. It's in no way his fault and he's an amazing Dad and husband. I actually am a bitch aren't I? What is wrong with me?

(I've name changed because he knows my mn name)

cyb Mon 26-Sep-11 17:50:24

No I do that all the time. I bet you'll get it back soon

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 17:51:14

It's been like this for months sad

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 17:53:34

Are you depressed?

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:01:31

I don't know sad I just want to be left alone all the time.

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 18:12:21

By everybody or just by him?

How would you say your mood is generally? Are you happy except for when he's around? Or are you mostly flat/numb feeling?

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:12:42

My friend thinks I have PND but I feel fine, baby wise, me and my baby have a very strong bond and she's almost 6 months old now so it's a bit late for that isn't it?

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:13:19

Wanting to be left alone would signal depression to me.

I's also think about whether:

You have reduced libido
You are not eating very much, or eating more than normal, especially unhealthy stuff
You feel tearful
You are avoiding friends
You are losing your temper/feeling irritable
You are feeling negative about yourself, and/or hopeless about your future

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:14:37

It's just all the time. I can't be bothered to be around people. I talk to my friends online which is fine but I just don't want to be around people.
He always wants to hug me and cuddle but I just don't want to be touched.
I really do sound like a horrible person dont I?

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:15:32

I have all of those things apart from the eating. I eat normally.

cyb Mon 26-Sep-11 18:16:16

Sounds like you might be a bit low tbh. Its easy to think that you just want to be left alone but thats not 'normal' all the time

You dont sound horrible, just blue

See your Doc?

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:19:34

I think if I go to the dr I'll start crying and I won't stop. I hate crying in front of people.

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 18:19:59

No, it's not too late for it to be PND at all. And no, you don't sound like a horrible person. You sound like a depressed person to me (but obviously I'm not qualified to diagnose smile). I was like this post-natally with both my kids. Didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to be touched, although I was able to be very loving towards the babies.

I think you should talk about the way you're feeling with your GP and HV. And mention that's what might be going on with you to your bloke.

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 18:21:01

That's what the doc's there for. He/she won't think badly of you.

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:23:51

I'll feel like such an idiot, I know as soon as I walk in there I'll start crying. Im crying now just thinking about going to the drs sad

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:28:35

No, it's not too late for it to be PND. And you aren't horrible. Thinking you are horrible, thinking you are to blame may be part of depressive thinking. When you are in that mood it's hard to remember what you were like before.

I have also suffered with depression. Go and see the doctor. It does not necessarily mean you will have to go on anti-depressants (I've managed without but would not hesitate to try them if I felt it was too much to cope with without them).

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:29:41

I have cried and cried in front of GPs. It's hard when you feel you have a good life and nothing to be unhappy about, but there it is. It happens.

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 18:32:49

Your reaction is saying to me that you really need to go, lovely. You can get to a much brighter place, you just need a hand right now. A lot of us have been there, it's ok.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:34:11

Yes, lots of us smile

headdesk Mon 26-Sep-11 18:40:40

Thank you all smile
I will try and make an appointment as soon as I can get one. I hope I have the nerve to keep it though.
I feel so horrible thought, I have nothing to be down about, I have lovely kids and a lovely husband.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:51:36

Oh, me too. Depression isn't a moral failing though. When you feel better, which you will, then you'll be grateful again. It's just that you can't feel it at the moment. Give yourself a break.

buzzskillington Mon 26-Sep-11 18:54:30

Just think of it as being a chemical/hormonal imbalance - nothing to do with whether you have good things in your life or not. You wouldn't try to walk off a broken leg, would you? This isn't much different.

Tell your friend and your bloke about the appointment when you've made it so they can frogmarch you down there wink.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 26-Sep-11 18:56:33

I agree. Telling them you've made the appt is an important first step to acknowledging things aren't right and you want them to change. You may well feel relived about this. And what buzz said about frogmarching .... on your metaphorical broken leg

macavitythemysterycat Mon 26-Sep-11 19:08:49

Write it all down and give it to your GP to read. I did this, I even sobbed as he read it. He was hugely understanding. Good luck.

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