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not sure it feels right!

(13 Posts)
lovenit Sun 25-Sep-11 20:56:24

This might be because its too soon for me to get into another relationship, but just wanted to know what you think.

I met this guy through a friend, everyone says good things about him, noone has a bad word and on meeting him he comes across as a very caring guy. The 1st date he told everyone how brilliant it went and he hasn't felt like this for a long time, he is a good looking guy so I asked him why he was still single, he said he was just fussy, but he had a good feeling about us, he's suggested all these plans of holidays, taking my kids etc etc. I kind of liked it but was a little worried he was getting a bit too full on. My friend says he is just the type of guy that throws himself in etc. Anyway I spent the night with him last night, he was very loving and we did have lots of sex, however I was quite upset that he said I came across as very hard! I'm so shocked as I really don't think I am, he said I'm not very touchy feely, or is that just another way of saying I'm crap in bed lol! That kind of lingured in my head all day really, I asked what it is I've done, he said well thats just it I've done nothing! I've only known him a month.

Anyway he said he would call me later tonight but as yet he hasn't so I don't know, today he took me to meet his brother and neice and then to his work place, so he still seemed keen. I don't know if I'm coming across as hard as I've just ended a relationship so maybe the barriers are up or something, but I'm not sure what to do, wait see if he contacts me ohhhh I hate all this, any advice anyone??

sternface Sun 25-Sep-11 21:18:10

Had to laugh at "kinda lingers" in your OP....but maybe you have to be a Not The Nine o'clock news fan to see the freudian slip...grin

I think you'll get lots of posts sensibly alerting you to the Red Flags of a bloke who is this full-on, this early, but what I wanted to ask is....what did you think of him in bed?

I ask this because sometimes I think if you desperately want someone to be great in bed, you can convince yourself that they are. But maybe he wasn't really - and this explains why you weren't as enthusiastic?

CactusRash Sun 25-Sep-11 21:19:10

Humm, I think that if just a month on, you are feeling unconfortable with some of the things he is telling you, you should be very careful with his relationship.

Do you think it's more likely to be your 'twat radar' that is coming on?

Punkatheart Sun 25-Sep-11 21:20:54

Blimey - he seems to living the whole gamut of the relationship in one go: instant attraction, making plans, having sex, already criticising, meeting relatives. No this is not good.

CactusRash Sun 25-Sep-11 21:21:00

Dop you have the feeling he is telling you you should be different than you are? Or just that things aren't quite right for him?

lovenit Sun 25-Sep-11 21:29:12

I don't know just something doesn't feel right here, and in the past I've kind of wished I've stuck with my gut feeling, so maybe this time I should!!!!!

CactusRash Sun 25-Sep-11 21:31:57

Yes I think you should follow your instincts!

Good lucksmile

sternface Sun 25-Sep-11 21:33:28

So he was crap then? wink

Trust your instincts OP and good luck.

madonnawhore Sun 25-Sep-11 22:36:14

Alarm bells ringing all over the place here.

I think your instincts are spot on.

It's way too soon for him to be talking about holidays with your kids and meeting family members and stuff.

And also, he's only known you a month, so it's a bit too soon for him to be telling you what kind of person you are.

You say he says he's got a 'good feeling' about your relationship, but you clearly don't have a 'good feeling'. How you feel is more important than how he feels. Don't ignore what your gut is telling you.

buzzskillington Sun 25-Sep-11 22:45:36

It's only a matter of weeks since you threw out a manipulative arse of a bloke, isn't it?

Yes, there are red flags on this guy - too fast too soon, critical of you already, telling you you're hard when actually it's normal and sensible to be cautious at this stage - this is a tactic to get you to drop your perfectly reasonable defences.

I think you ought to take some time out from men and maybe do some work on yourself, so you're confident of boundaries and will accept no shit in future relationships. On the bright side, that you're not ignoring your instincts and are worried enough to post says your twat radar is functioning grin.

AnyFucker Sun 25-Sep-11 22:47:50

trust your instincts

if it don't feel right, it ain't right

don't try and convince yourself he is great, when he isn't

toptramp Sun 25-Sep-11 22:48:20

He's a control freak; run fast.

lovenit Mon 26-Sep-11 13:16:18

Well I think as someone said I need some time to myself, as even if he is a nice bloke, I'm just anti men a bit atm. I told him I didn't think I was ready for this, he said he was sad but he respects my decision, but said he would wait for me lol. And if in the mean time I need anything just let him know but he'll respect my space. So I think thats good

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