Giving up alcohol - need my hand held please

[nomorebeer]

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but I need a little advice.

I have decided to give up alcohol completely. I am drinking 1-2 bottles per day and it's too much. I have lost control of my drinking and I want to stop.

I have thought alot about my decision and written down my feelings and done quite a bit of research.

DH knows and supports me.

But, I have no clue how to tell my family. They are all big drinkers. I don't know how to tell them.

Any advice appreciated.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Didn't want to leave you unanswered although have no practical advice for you. I applaud your decision though.

There is a support thread on here - the Brave Babes - but I've not read the threads so don't know if you'd feel it was right for you.

I really do admire you for facing into this.

[sixkids]

How brave,im in the same situation,not sure how it happened but ive realised ive lost control and dont know how to stop,i cant offer any help but your post may just help me,maybe i should write things down too,your ahead of me so very well done to you already,i wish you the best of luck :)

[fannybanjo]

Good luck to you both - be thankful you have acknowledged you have a problem and are taking steps to change. DH's sister died last year age 42 from alcohol related disease - a shockingly quick death - all her organs packed in. She was drinking large quantities of wine not spirits and her body couldn't cope. For some reason her doctor told us women's livers cannot cope with alcohol like a man's can. I hope you get all the support you need OP and your family help you with your decision.

[squeakytoy]

Is it feasible for the moment to tell them you are on a diet and alcohol isnt allowed.. just until you feel more confident.

[ChildofIsis]

Well done for seeing that you need to change.

Do you have to say anything to your family?
As others have said the 'I'm on a diet/ I'm driving' excuse works well.

I've been in a similar situation.
I came to one day and realised that every day ended with a vodka and coke, sometimes two.
I fooled myself that as I wasn't technically drunk I didn't have a problem.
I told myself that I would have a month off it as it would be no problem to do that, I could cope.
It was a difficult month, I'd been relying on the booze to help my stress. However I did cope and subsequently went right off coke so don't drink vodka any more.

That was about 10 years ago and now I can have a drink occaisionally and don't ever feel that I 'have to'.

[nomorebeer]

Thankyou all.

Yesterday was Day 1 of no alcohol.

Sixkids - I have found it enormously helpful to write things down. Especially how I feel when I have a hangover, have drunk too much the night before and upset someone (Usually my DH!)

And, thankyou, I have found the brave babes

I think I'm going to stick to the 'driving' story with some of my family and talk to some others. There are a few who will be able to understand (I hope) my decision because, while they all drink alot, it's usually me who ends up plastered, in tears and being argumentative!

Thanks for all your advice!

[puzzlesum]

I took the opposite approach to you when I gave up drinking four months ago, in that it was important for me for the people around me to know that I had and be supportive of that decision. On the other hand, I was extremely ill by that point and virtually unable to walk (proximal myopathy) so there was much less likelihood of anyone going "ah go on, one won't hurt you". Because one would have hurt me. And still would.

My friends and family have all been very supportive, however much they drink themselves. I really think it's helped to be completely open about it, and I put some early coping strategies in place with my close friends at work, so that if I have a really, really awful day at work and want go and get a drink (likely to be the main trigger) they know that just saying "no you're not allowed' is likely to make me drink more, but asking me to wait for 20 mins and taking a deep breath is much more likely to make it possible for me to avoid the compulsion to drink.

The other thing you could do is go and see your GP and express your concerns to him/her. It wouldn't hurt for you to have your liver functions checked out anyway, and will have the advantage of making the situation 'real' to you. You could also then say your GP had advised cutting out alcohol - mine has said I should quit for at least one year.

Best of luck to you.

[fannybanjo]

Well done on getting through day one. . It will get easier as you will lose your association with alcohol being important to you.