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Not sure what to do.

(4 Posts)
dzeko Fri 23-Sep-11 22:06:32

Sorry this may go on a bit!
Been married for over 10 years, have 1 dc and everything within relationship is good....... except for the one problem. Sex. DW just isnt bothered/interested. On the few times we have discussed it rationally she admits the idea of sex repluses her and she just doesnt feel 'sexy'. Currently she 'makes an effort' every 4-6 weeks and once she gets going she seems to enjoy it but I get the impression that shes only doing it for my benefit and that puts me right off. I have stopped trying to initiate anything as the rejection is just too much to bear. We are sleeping in separate rooms due to the rejection problem.
We have tried Relate sexual counselling with no success. If I try to start a discussion then she just get angry/aggressive/defensive and so we just dont mention it any more.
I love her more than ever and we have a great relationship otherwise but this is doing my head in and I cant face the rest of my life with this beautiful woman only have sex every 6 weeks just because she thinks she should not because she wants to.
Any advice ladies?

FabbyChic Fri 23-Sep-11 22:40:47

Would she try therapy? Whats the reason she is repulsed by sex>

kunahero Sat 24-Sep-11 06:33:03

She wont try therapy as she doesnt think she has a problem and no one can do anyhting to help anyway.
She has no idea why she feels this way she just always has done.

ChildofIsis Sat 24-Sep-11 07:02:54

Dzeko I had the same problem with my xh.

I don't know if my experience can help really. I just wanted to let you know that there are women out there who love and want sex.

He was always tired and only initiated sex a handful of times in the 20 odd years we were together.
I accepted that we had incompatible sex drives and that if I wanted it I had to ask for it and risk rejection every time.
It caused no end of rows over the years. He would never accept that it was our problem; only that I wanted it too much.

It's not the reason we split though.

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