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Separation advice needed please

(9 Posts)
mrsfassbender Thu 22-Sep-11 15:12:20

I really need some sensible practical advice on separation (and some confidence boosting from those who have come out the other side)
DH and me have not been happy for some time (altho it has been up and down) We have lost our connection, I can't bear to be around him and I want to make the break before we completely hate each other for the sake of our DCs.
I am working part-time at the moment, not earning enough to pay rent and bills for the household, and this is my main concern, how I am going to get by. DH is the main earner, and I am not going to be working full time for another year (I have and still am trying to get more hours in the mean time)
How have others managed it? I don't want to just chuck DH out and expect him to cover everything. I just need some advice as money is the only thing keeping me here, and I wonder if others are the same?
Thanks x

mumsamilitant Thu 22-Sep-11 15:24:03

Get in touch with the CAB they will give you all the relevant numbers to call. You will be entitled to Tax Credits etc. I'm a part time worker and a single parent. Please don't worry. OK, I can't swan off on holiday to the Bahamas but believe me it's not bad at all. Good luck.

mrsfassbender Thu 22-Sep-11 15:29:14

Thank you militant! I haven't ever been out of Europe so I can handle not seeing the Bahamas!! I will get in touch with them, thank you.

mrsfassbender Thu 22-Sep-11 15:33:07

militant do you mind me asking about accommodation? Do you rent? Did you stay in the family home? If that's too much info don't worry x

stayforthekids1 Thu 22-Sep-11 15:40:42

This is what happened with me. STBXH and I separated 3 months ago. We private rent, I work part time, 16 hours a week. I have four children. I qualified for WTC and CT. Also almost all my rent paid and almost all my council tax benefit paid. I then have to find £100 out of my wages to make up the rest of rent/council each month. There is also Child Benefit but that goes on buying the children what they need. If you go down the CSA route there will be that to. I am managing fine.

mumsamilitant Thu 22-Sep-11 15:41:21

Well I luckily enough already had a housing trust place when DP and I split up. I may be wrong (and I'm sure someone will be along with sound advice in a mo) I think you can get certain help with paying the morgage.

mrsfassbender Thu 22-Sep-11 15:49:18

Thank you both so much. I am clueless about what I can and can't get, and I really need to get some facts. I also work 16 hours a week, have 2 DCs, worried about paying youngest's childcare whilst working as at the mo we get no tax credits at all (we private rent, and let a place we own but it's not worth very much) II think because our finances are such a mess (debts) I am so stressed about going under if we split...I am also very far from my family, so can't go to them for help. But I have been miserable for the last 3 years and have tried very hard to make it work, blaming myself, even going on anti-depressants. But it's made me realise even more that it is DH that is the problem. I'm on the CAB website now.

stayforthekids1 Thu 22-Sep-11 15:53:40

You should get the maximum WTC and CT and help with up to 80% of childcare costs if I remember rightly. What you need to do, is hop onto Fill out your details and it is pretty good estimate of what you will and wont get.

mrsfassbender Thu 22-Sep-11 15:59:48

thank you, stayforthekids, I am going to try and do that before DH turns up!!

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