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Keeping it tight after children

(77 Posts)
barkwithnobite Wed 21-Sep-11 21:57:58

how the he'll does this work? Friend n I were talking about this and ideas for keeping the V tight after having had kids. Keen to hear experience of others. Men - does it feel very different after you DP has had a child?

geraldinetheluckygoat Wed 21-Sep-11 22:00:00

keeping the V tight? Wave goodbye now, frankly, it all goes to HELL after having a child.



WinduhPAYNE Wed 21-Sep-11 22:00:37


<grabs jar of nutella and spoon>

AnyFucker Wed 21-Sep-11 22:02:28

are you that woman on This Morning who had the "Playboy" version of a vaginal reconstruction ?


You could try elasticating it? Like a waistband.

What were yours and your friends 'ideas' btw.


quidsi Wed 21-Sep-11 22:03:31

I use anything I've got to hand. I pack it tightly with newspaper,bubble wrap, leave just a small enough space for him - DP so grateful he doesn't even notice!

PeppermintPasty Wed 21-Sep-11 22:04:54

I'm getting a bit obsessed with him blush-you're not a friend of magpienchips are you?

barkwithnobite Wed 21-Sep-11 22:05:41

Thought it'd be nice to brighten the mood :-) mostly pelvic floor exercises

geraldinetheluckygoat Wed 21-Sep-11 22:06:05

After my second child, I didn't have anything even remotely resembling a vagina remaining. So we just hired an escort for the penetration part. Worked for us.

My Vagina, My Rules.

PeppermintPasty Wed 21-Sep-11 22:06:13

pmsl @ quidsi

Oh. No. I really am pissing myself.

<Reaches for rubber band....>

AnyFucker Wed 21-Sep-11 22:06:18

PP grin

LeBOF Wed 21-Sep-11 22:07:20

That's an interesting conversation to have with your friends. Do you discuss your constipation issues over lunch and a lambrini too?

quidsi grin

barkwithnobite Wed 21-Sep-11 22:08:05

Lol @ Gerald....

LadyMary Wed 21-Sep-11 22:08:44

'keeping the V tight'


Oh do fuck off

flatbellyfella Wed 21-Sep-11 22:09:11

No it didn't go to hell after two 8lb girls two years apart V went back to the same feeling for me very quickly ,a few weeks after a stitch to repair a tear.

barkwithnobite Wed 21-Sep-11 22:09:11 musta left it in a bad way....newspaper fits grin

RealityVonCrapp Wed 21-Sep-11 22:10:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buzzskillington Wed 21-Sep-11 22:10:45

You got it the wrong way round, what you need is to plug him into a bicycle pump and inflate until the correct girth is achieved.

kunahero Wed 21-Sep-11 22:10:47

Geraldine, you hired an Escort? Jeez how big did you get? I'd have thought a bicycle wouldnt fit let alone an entire old Ford! smile

barkwithnobite Wed 21-Sep-11 22:11:00

LeBOF - if I had constipation, why not..... Anything goes during drunken girlie chats..... grin

quidsi Wed 21-Sep-11 22:11:05

"musta"?? confused
Thats what the bubble wrap is for!

geraldinetheluckygoat Wed 21-Sep-11 22:12:37

ha! Well, it was a hatchback <indignant>

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