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Need a shoulder right now :'o(

(7 Posts)
Squiglettsmummy2bx Tue 20-Sep-11 14:44:43

I posted a few weeks back about my relationship ending & me being pregnant & about some of the grief I had from my exes family. My ex & I had tried to remain amicable & were speaking but he had been emotionally abusive in the relationship & I had found his threatening manner coming out so had stopped speaking to him. He has found a flat & wanted to collect some of his things that had been left here & as I feel uncomfortable around him my friend agreed to drive things to his mums. We did this today & I came in the car as she had 2 babies with her & didn't know how close she would be able to park & I knew he was at work. When his mum realised I was there she began hurling abuse at me calling me a slag & whore & trying to get past my friend to the car to smack me in the mouth. She has also threatened to be at my kids school this afternoon to tell everyone about me, there is nothing to tell but it would still be embarrassing. I was already feeling low being pregnant & on my own but this has just been the final straw today. My friend is collecting my kids for me & I am laying in bed wondering how a women whose son does drugs, is abusive & violent, has 3 kids he can not see & a baby on the way that he will more than likely not be allowed to see either can be blaming me & abusing me even more?

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Tue 20-Sep-11 14:50:21

I remember your thread Squigglett

I'm glad you got out.

You don't need to shed tears about his mum. Her behaviour is her own affair: just because she says nasty things about you doesn't mean they are remotely true. Ignore them. She needs to believe in her son's innocence otherwise her world would fall about. So she has to vilify you to feel better. It sucks, but it's her issue.

Try to see it objectively (as the ranting of a hurt and deranged woman in denial), and try not to be affected by the actual content of her words.

Poor you. I'm sorry you had to go thorugh that. It would shake anybody to be insulted and threatened in this way. Be kind to yourself and soothe your fear and hurt.

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Tue 20-Sep-11 14:50:57

*apart, not about.

GodKeepsGiving Tue 20-Sep-11 14:51:03

I suspect she doesn't want to see what he is doing, or perhaps is transferring her anger at him on to you. It may even be that he is a skilled manipulator and has managed to convince his mother that you are responsible for his behaviour. Would you consider speaking to the school or to the police since she has assaulted you verbally and threatened to also do so physically. You must be feeling rotten and I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it might be best to let as many people know as possible what has actually happened because both you and your children are really vulnerable at the moment. Women's Aid might also be able to help you.

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow Tue 20-Sep-11 14:58:28

Incidentally, have you looked into the Freedom Programme?

soggy14 Tue 20-Sep-11 16:39:44

poor you <hugs> at least you know you are better off out of it and hopefully now you have sent him things to him you can move on

Squiglettsmummy2bx Wed 21-Sep-11 06:20:18

Thank you all. I did ring the police non emergency number & log everything, I said I didn't want a big fuss made but just for it to be on vile should anything further happen.
I already knew she was this type of women from how she lives & how she has brought her kids up so really shouldn't have been surprised but you expect a 50 year old women to have a little bit more self respect. I am just glad that even in my pregnant hormonal state I kept my dignity & kept my mouth shut.
Thank you for the links, I am going to look at both today x

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