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Restaurant Manager Flirting with my partner - Am i over reacting?

(184 Posts)
JennaP Mon 19-Sep-11 19:52:11

On Saturday 17th September, my partner and I went to eat at a restaurant in Chiswick, we have been there before and have usually enjoyed the food and good service. He arranged to go in advance and booked us a table for 8.30pm. We stood at the door and were greeted by the Manager/Maitre De.

We had to wait a few minutes for our table which she mumbled to me and then said to my boyfriend whilst placing her hand on his arm. She eventually sat us at out table and then proceeded to read the specials/ menu to my partner whilst completely ignoring me. I mentioned it to my partner and we tried to make a joke of it but he also noticed it when she came back later.

During the evening, she kept on coming back to clear his beer bottles and then when we ordered the bill from another waitress, she noticed that he had taken out his credit card and so came to collect the money, in doing so, she bent down far enough for me to be able to see down her dress and so I don’t doubt that my boyfriend could also see too. She also came back to bring our after dinner liquors. In fact, she spent more time at out table than the waitress did.

Given that it was a Saturday night and the restaurant was full, I think it’s interesting the disproportionate amount of time the manager gave to him. I would like to say the time she gave to serve us, but other than saying hello and goodbye she pretty much ignored me the whole time as she proceeded to be over friendly with him. As we left the restaurant, she said goodnight to me and said ‘goodnight, it was nice to meet you’ to my partner.

I was furious all weekend mostly because i did not say anything at the time! He's a typical bloke, he was so flattered by the attention that it didn't actually occur to him that she was being rude to me. I'm trying to workout if i am justified in my reaction or if my hormones have driven me crazy!!

Anyway, i was still made this morning and so I wrote a letter of complaint! Did i over react? Is this normal behaviour in London?

Hullygully Mon 19-Sep-11 19:54:35

Really I need the name of the restaurant as well.

Flisspaps Mon 19-Sep-11 19:54:42

YAB a bit U.

Perhaps she thought he was a Sleb?

Catsmamma Mon 19-Sep-11 19:55:01

can we see a copy of the letter?

I'd tease him mercilessly about it and treat it as a huge joke!

tethersend Mon 19-Sep-11 19:55:55

Did she give him anything off the bill?

If not, YANBU.

ToPeeOrNotToPee Mon 19-Sep-11 19:57:43

That would piss me off a bit to be honest, especially if she's wasn't friendly to you.

maleview70 Mon 19-Sep-11 19:58:24

You do realise they will probably have a good laugh when they get the letter!

bubblegumpop Mon 19-Sep-11 19:58:37

You wrote a letter of complaint................ I think it may make you sound a bit of a bunny boiler.

Sure complain about her being rude etc, but making it seem so sexually motivated on her behalf, just makes you look the jealous gf.

Mouseface Mon 19-Sep-11 19:59:36

Did she give him anything off the bill?

<snort> grin

I wouldn't worry, he's with you. Take it as a compliment. Even though it's from someone who has no manners or morals?

unfitmother Mon 19-Sep-11 20:06:21

What on earth did you say in your letter?

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 19-Sep-11 20:09:08

It would piss me off, because she was rude. It would mightily piss me off if he flirted. But really, you have to just think - he's with you and therefore her behaviour is a bit sad.

But a letter of complaint about this won't be taken seriously unless she was dry humping him

FrauLindor Mon 19-Sep-11 20:10:10


You should have laughed it off not sent a letter of complaint that will make you sound like a jealous loon.

Can you imagine if a MNetter came on and said that she had gone out with her DH and the waiter had flirted with her all evening, without any encouragement or egging on. That her DH had been fuming all weekend and he wrote a letter of complaint.

You would not be able to move for the amount of "Leave the controlling bastard" posts.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 19-Sep-11 20:11:22

When you say hormones, are you pregnant? It's easy to feel unattractive, and therfore slighted by non-pg women, when you are pg

MrsVidic Mon 19-Sep-11 20:14:14

She probably thought you were a mystery shopper. Get. A. Grip.

BluddyMoFo Mon 19-Sep-11 20:16:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peasandlove Mon 19-Sep-11 20:17:16

take it as a compliment, your DP is obviously hot. She was probably also hoping for a huge tip

JennaP Mon 19-Sep-11 20:17:51

You know, I wouldn't have bothered me so much if she hadn't just completely ignored me, but she acted like I wasn't there.

I probably do sound a little mad (hormones) but i honestly don't understand why any women would want to flirt with a man that is taking his girlfriend out for dinner?

SheCutOffTheirTails Mon 19-Sep-11 20:19:00

What a bizarre and unprofessional way for a maitre d' to behave.

I wouldn't have written a letter of complaint, but I doubt we'd be going back (regardless of who was the recipient of the unwanted attention).

Over-familiar waiting staff are a pain in the arse.

Catsmamma Mon 19-Sep-11 20:20:32

unless you had your "I am with MY BOYFRIEND ->>>>>!!!" t-shirt on she may have assumed you were his mother sister/friend/boss/neighbour

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Mon 19-Sep-11 20:20:36

No - it's un-sisterly. I used to know several girls at University who would flirt with men and ignore women. But he's with you.

JennaP Mon 19-Sep-11 20:24:20

what did i say in the letter - basically that she spent the evening ignoring me and flirting with my boyfriend and it's not really what I would expect from a restaurant manager! Seriously, other than saying hello and goodbye - she did not look at me at all! btw - not pregnant but trying...unsuccessfully!

SwingingBetty Mon 19-Sep-11 20:25:15

lol, did you not see that episode of Corrie where Julie thought the waitress was playing up to her man

she made a complete fool of herself as well grin

LaurieFairyCake Mon 19-Sep-11 20:25:37

She wasn't rude to you - she just didn't give you the same amount of attention as she gave him.

And that's because she gave him loads of attention cos she fancied him.

You're mad to write a letter - she didn't do anything to you unless you count "flirting wi' your maaaaaaahnnnn" in an Essex accent. hmm grin

mercibucket Mon 19-Sep-11 20:28:11

what on earth has your partner said about you writing a letter of complaint???

Laquitar Mon 19-Sep-11 20:28:44

Never mind how you will look to the Restaurant if you send the letter. Imagine how you will look to your dp!

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