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OK, so you start dating someone new. When do you....

(64 Posts)
RumourOfAHurricane Sun 18-Sep-11 21:39:46

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BluddyMoFo Sun 18-Sep-11 21:43:09

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BluddyMoFo Sun 18-Sep-11 21:44:57

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RumourOfAHurricane Sun 18-Sep-11 21:47:10

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MangoMonster Sun 18-Sep-11 21:50:04

Knock them on the head. He's not seeing others and he might find it off-putting that you are.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 18-Sep-11 21:51:22

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MangoMonster Sun 18-Sep-11 21:53:48

I'm sure you can maybe pick ip where you left off if it all goes pear shaped.

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Sep-11 22:54:52

You can't focus on more than one person and the person you're seeing, particularly if you're having any kind of intimate relationship, deserves to be told if you are spreading it about seeing others. I would certainly stop someone who was seeing others at the same time.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 18-Sep-11 23:42:19

Call me old-fashioned (and pour me one, too please, Shiney) but IMO the gentleman should make the running.

He may not be checking out other candidates dating others at the moment but, until such time as he makes his intentions clear towards you and takes himself off the market, I see no reason why you shouldn't continue to research how many photos and descriptions on dating site resemble their owners - purely in the interests of science.

Carry on playing the field until you see a chance to score, and then run (slowly) round the field while he makes his mind up whether you're worth a try.

<<too much rugby emoticon>>

FabbyChic Sun 18-Sep-11 23:45:02

I'd say that once you have met someone you like and want to see again, you knock the others on the head, as has been said, you can always back track if you want to at a later date.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 18-Sep-11 23:46:14

According to my little black book of etiquette, a lady never discusses who else she's shagging dating with her suitors.

IME when asked, a gentleman always lies.

cecilyparsley Mon 19-Sep-11 01:16:46

shag them all and keep only the ones that are especially good

cecilyparsley Mon 19-Sep-11 01:17:33

obviously be discrete about it!

MeMySonAndI Mon 19-Sep-11 01:32:45

I'm going to be watching this thread. BEst of luck Shiney. The only advice I can offer is to say it is only the third date... too early to know for sure if he (or the others) are the one

LittleHousebytheRiver Mon 19-Sep-11 07:38:12

I posted on another thread about this. I have a NM who I have had 3 dates with. After the first he took himself off all dating sites and told his singles club he is unavailable. This freaked me out a bit, but he has been single and dating for two years whereas I am new to it. I only have one other guy I am in contact with and that is long distance and currently platonic.

I find the intensity of "forsaking all others" this early a bit worrying. My guy seems a bit desperate to fall in love ASAP for the sake of it.

If you still want to see other people at this stage then you are not emotionally committed to your new date yet. When you no longer want to see other people it will seem natural to say to them "Sorry Dick and Harry I have met someone else so I won't be available --for a shag--"

Good luck

LittleHousebytheRiver Mon 19-Sep-11 07:38:40

for a shag

lubeybooby Mon 19-Sep-11 07:46:46

I wouldn't ditch anyone just yet, don't see them but don't officially end any arrangements either.

It's still very early days with mr 3rd date tonight and I've had things go spectacularly wrong still at this stage.

I think if you are progressing into coupledom nicely then exclusivity will either be talked about or become obvious that's what you are doing (sometime very soon)

I'd hang on a little while and see what happens, basically. Just be too busy to see anyone else until you have a clearer idea whats happening with mr 3rd date.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 19-Sep-11 08:24:35

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RumourOfAHurricane Mon 19-Sep-11 08:25:59

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LittleHousebytheRiver Mon 19-Sep-11 08:35:24

Not sure shiney TBH. Have 4th date tonight and he is staying over. But since I got into all this the first guy was a Red Flag Loser who had to go (thanks MN) and this guy is sweet but very intense.

Not going to post details but no shagging yet...

Good luck with the date!

lubeybooby Mon 19-Sep-11 09:03:54

Shiney I have resolved to actually write down the list on paper and leave it on the windowsill as ruby did. I will definitely feel like a tosser, but meh ... whether it just focuses the mind or whatever, it's time I did something to help things along

Then non tosser practically wise I'm self employed but very flexible so I'm on the lookout for a part time or temp job, just to be out there in the workplace with actual people again instead of being a hermit in my home office and still working on the social life. Also chatting to a couple of maybe possibles online dating wise.

Good luck tonight btw! grin

lubeybooby Mon 19-Sep-11 09:08:51

Oh I am also having a major wardrobe revamp. Me and my single friends have a phenomenon among us known as The Purchase of Doom... anything bought specifically relating to a date, especially if it's progressed to date two or beyond brings out the previously good date's hidden twattishness and kills it off. So to counteract this I am making sure I'm well stocked with everything I could possibly need to wear from underwear to make up to clothes suitable for dates before I get anything happening again wink

cecilyparsley Mon 19-Sep-11 10:27:36

he may take down his profile and say he's not seeing other women, but infact still have women 'on the go' that he made contact with previously. It may just be a strategy to get you to agree to move things on to the sexual stage.

Yep, I know that sounds very cynical but I find alot of guys believe women wont offer sex unless he's offering emotional commitment etc

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 19-Sep-11 10:42:47

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lubeybooby Mon 19-Sep-11 10:50:35

Ah, hiding it in a book is a good idea. Otherwise my cats will shred it or my 15 yr old find it.

I used to be so normal arf grin yes, so did I.

I like the heart symbol idea.

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