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I've met someone and I don't want to cock it up this time

(13 Posts)
MuthaInsuperior Sun 18-Sep-11 18:12:06

After a string of useless and loveless relationships I have spent the past 2 years single, taking up new hobbies, concentrating on friends/career etc. However I have recently met a man at my sports club. There is an obvious physical attraction between us and he makes an effort to speak to me alone when possible (difficult in a small, male dominated sports hall!). We have trained together as "partners" (in a sporting sense) and we always have a good laugh. We have lots in common and I DO like him. Other people in the group have picked up on the "chemistry" too. This morning he asked me what my husband did for a living hmm I confirmed I was single and he confirmed he is also single after having "married" and "divorced" the army.
As we were leaving today he asked if we could meet up away from the sports hall and maybe go for a drink. Naturally I have agreed and we have swapped numbers but I'm so scared I will cock it up. I can't stop thinking about him and I'm already getting paranoid thinking he will have changed his mind by next and then I'll look like a fool etc. How do I chill out about it all and on a more practical note, what would you wear for a first "date" with someone? It's been that long! Should I resist the urge to text him etc and let him do all the "chasing" or is that childish?

Gay40 Sun 18-Sep-11 18:34:21

He sounds nice, and there's no need to cock it up. Wear something comfortable but that makes your feel great. Prepare to meet a friend and nothing more, if it works out then wahey! If he changes his mind, it probably isn't about you at all. I would text him if you feel like it, but not obsessively. "Chasing" is a bit outdated and gives the impression women are possessions to be won. Keep it casual and don't play "contact" games. If he starts that nonsense, ditch him.
And....enjoy x

lubeybooby Sun 18-Sep-11 18:38:17

Just relax. If it's meant to be then it will 'be' - and if not then you have a nice social/activity circle and can meet someone else, it won't be the end of the world. Bearing that in mind, just relax and enjoy, go with the flow, keep busy so you aren't waiting by the phone etc so to speak and obsessing (easy to do in the first flush of romance!)

localcrackpot Sun 18-Sep-11 18:43:28

Don't panic! You're already doing everything right or he wouldn't have asked you out. Try to enjoy it without putting too much stress on yourself to bag him! Once you see him more you might go off him. Or he might be lovely grin

Enjoy! A man you like has asked you out. Woooooooo! I hope you've gone pink, haha! Hmm, what to wear, what to wear? What do you like to wear? Where are you going - for a drink in a bar? I'd probably wear some nice black trousers and a sheer black top with a strappy top underneath (gives a hint of being more exposed than you look but you still feel less 'done up' than wearing a skirt, I think).... then... I'd wear my hair down and curl it, high heeled boots, modest amount of dark eyeliner/eye makeup but lips fairly natural. So not vampilicious, but perhaps 50-60% vamp, haha!

Don't sweat it, enjoy. You like him, he likes you, you're off on a date! Well done to both of you grin

MangoMonster Sun 18-Sep-11 19:21:22

You won't cock it up. He likes you, so just continue as you have been. Nice to make an effort on a first date, but depends on where you are going. I'd try not to be too keen, keep it as you have already been doing and you can't go wrong. He likes you!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 18-Sep-11 19:30:02

As sportsmen can be driven by a competitive urge, I suspect he likes the thrill of the chase - resist the urge to text him and let him do the running.

Keep it casual, light, with a hint of hidden depths, and don't let yourself be caught too easily grin

TheFlyingOnion Sun 18-Sep-11 20:25:54

Its its meant to be, its impossible for your to cock it up - everything you do will be "right"...

and if it's not meant to be, nothing you do will make any difference either!

<fatalist>

TheFlyingOnion Sun 18-Sep-11 20:26:19

I think what I mean is, you can only be yourself. He will either be right for you, or not...

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 18-Sep-11 21:35:48

Message withdrawn

MangoMonster Sun 18-Sep-11 21:38:01

Agree with theflyingonion

TheFlyingOnion Mon 19-Sep-11 12:44:30

ooh shiney you're on date number 3? Make sure you have shaved your legs, everyone knows the third date is the shagging date make or break!!

grin

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 19-Sep-11 12:51:16

Message withdrawn

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 19-Sep-11 12:55:24

Message withdrawn

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