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is this a stupid thing to do?

(26 Posts)
booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 14:09:29

i met a man on holiday during the summer. he was staying in our hotel with 5 of his friends. we (friend and i) spent the holiday with them having a great time, going out with them in the evenings, out for food etc.

i have since kept in touch with one of them and have arranged to go and visit him in his home town for a weekend.

a friend (not the same one i as on holiday with) has told me she thinks i am mad, that's it's far too dangerous, he could have anything planned etc.

what do you think?

i obviously wouldn't be going ahead with the visit if i had any doubts about this man's intentions.

lubeybooby Sun 18-Sep-11 14:11:43

It's not stupid, you know this person as in not a stranger and your friend is being paranoid.

Just make sure someone knows where you are (full adress) and all that.

peterpan99 Sun 18-Sep-11 14:11:49

i think as long as you are not staying at his house then its fine

Fisharefriendsnotfood Sun 18-Sep-11 14:12:36

Unless you are a minor I would assume you would let people know where you then no reason at all not to go. How bizarre of your friend.

Earlybird Sun 18-Sep-11 14:14:16

Why does he not come to you for the first visit?

And agree with others, you should not plan to stay with him until you know him better.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Sun 18-Sep-11 14:16:27

Why shouldn't she stay in his house? I think you are all a bit ott. Surely the op should be able to judge if she considers it safe etc

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 14:18:27

ok we are staying together in a hotel, he booked it but i know which one. reason being that he lives with his parents (he is 23 so not that unusual)

i will give all my travel details (i am flying) and the hotel details to my parents, will have my mobile charged and with credit etc

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 14:21:24

he isn't coming here because until after xmas his work is extremely busy and the trip involves flights. it would mean at least 1 weekday off and he just cannot get it. whereas i can fly over on a friday and amuse myself for the evening until he gets off work.

beatenbyayellowteacup Sun 18-Sep-11 20:11:39

take condoms

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:17:17

that's a given beaten grin

TheFlyingOnion Sun 18-Sep-11 20:22:12

trust your instint....

I went on holiday for a month with a guy I'd met on holiday 3 months beforehand. I put both our flights on my credit card when we were arranging it - a risk, I know, but we were together afterwards for 4 years....

TidyDancer Sun 18-Sep-11 20:25:16

I think go for it, although just to be sure, speak to the friend who actually did meet him, to find out if she saw any red flags or has any reason to think you're doing the wrong thing. Assuming she has nothing but good things to say, go right ahead and have fun!

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:29:42

yep i am a huge follower of my gut. i tend not to be an impulsive person so even the slightest feeling of unease about this guy and i wouldn't have booked it. i will absoloutely trust my instinct.

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:31:14

the friend who met him is in favour of the visit. she is my best friend and would tell me honestly if she was worried about him/his intentions.

ChippingIn Sun 18-Sep-11 20:33:11

I did the same thing smile We had a great year together after that, lived together after the first month (only took that long as I was overseas blush) it had nothing to do with why we broke up and I don't regret any of it smile

beatenbyayellowteacup Sun 18-Sep-11 20:34:29

grin and have fun!

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:38:04

thank you all (hi chipping <waves>) you have confirmed what i already knew.

TheFlyingOnion Sun 18-Sep-11 20:48:38

I met current DP on the internet and our first date was dog walking in a local forest. I was amazed at the amount of people who seemed to think I was going to get dragged behind the nearest tree....

It never really crossed my mind that anything untoward might happen. I was right to trust my instinct as he's the most amazing guy I've ever met!!

thenightsky Sun 18-Sep-11 20:51:52

I did similar thing. Been married to him 25 years now grin

SwingingBetty Sun 18-Sep-11 20:55:20

it does make me laugh when you say you meet people from the internet, and people look aghast and say but he could be an axe murderer

well so could the happy chappy you meet every week down the local, i dont think they come with signs on their heads

i dont understand why people dont see it

Mouseface Sun 18-Sep-11 20:56:03

I'd say go for it boo, if you are playing safe, hotel and sorting your own travel arrangements then enjoy.

Take cash and condoms and have a blast girl xx

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:57:11

aww, these are lovely stories. unfortunately i dont think anything longtem will come out of this as we live in different countries, he is very committed to his work and i have 2 dc and all mine and their paternal family are here. i am just going because he is lovely and i want to spend a bit of time with him again.

booyhoo Sun 18-Sep-11 20:59:49

i agree swinging. the 'you met him on the internet hmm' posse always amuse me. i've met far worse in my local bar on a friday night than some of the people friends have met online.

heleninahandcart Mon 19-Sep-11 10:34:09

I've done this more than once. Had a great time, You've taken sensible steps and trust your gut feelings.

Go and enjoy your break!

ChitChattingWithKids Mon 19-Sep-11 10:39:44

On a holiday you do see a different side to the person because they're more relaxed so you don't really know them, but..... you spend so much more time together than you possibly could in your normal lives so in a weird way you actually know each other better than you would in the same time span if you were dating normally.

Clearly he has decent friends or you wouldn't have spent that much time with all of them. Decent people usually have decent friends as well.

Go for it!!!

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