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Before he came............

(18 Posts)
DVsurvivor Sun 18-Sep-11 05:59:16

I had a lovely house
My children went to a local school
I enjoyed life
My children had a healthy diet
I looked forward to the future
I didn't have to avoid certain shops / cafes as he didn't like the staff or they hadn't offered him a job
I didn't have to have a telly / I would have been able to move the telly to a different room to give me more room in my lounge
I didn't have to hide my bank statements for fear of him knowing I had more money than him and wanting it off me
I didn't have anyone borrowing expensive monthly bus passes and losing them after one day
I didn't have someone telling everyone he was wonderful as he helped me with shopping then not keeping the receipts so I couldn't get refunds on faulty items
I could have the furniture where I wanted
Jobs would get done when needed rather than me leaving them as he said he would do them then finding them undone hours later
I didn't get moaned at if my house wasn't tidy (to his standards) and didn't come downstairs in the morning to find empty coke cans, crisp packets, chocolate wrappers and dirty tissues
I could do what I liked with my money and if anyone did shopping for me, I wasn't afraid to ask for the change (not that I needed to ask with them)
I wasn't too tired / depressed to enjoy my children
I could spend as much or as little money as i wanted on the children
I didn't have to worry about being messed around
I didn't stop college courses as the person providing childcare said he was taking a job, for him then to turn the job down
I didn't have someone breaking / losing everything
I wasn't too tired from being awake all night thinking about the problems he causes me to play with children or do, washing/ shopping
I wasn't embarassed to go out for fear of seeing the neighbours who must have heard everything
AND I didn't have to live in fear wondering when or where the next bruise would come

Thank goodness I have escaped

Lifeissweet Sun 18-Sep-11 06:22:00

Brilliant. Good for you. Well done and stay strong. It sounds as though you are reclaiming yourself and that is so positive. Sending strong vibes your way. smile

ChildofIsis Sun 18-Sep-11 06:46:36

Congratulations on getting out.
You will be able to go down your list and reclaim every one of those things for yourself.

You are strong and courageous.

peterpan99 Sun 18-Sep-11 09:02:50

well done you i hope you and your children have a wonderful life free of this toxic abuser!

kangers Sun 18-Sep-11 09:07:01

was about to say dump the bastard now. But well done- your life can go back to something like before- Just don't crumble- remember this post.

saladfingers Sun 18-Sep-11 09:08:03

You're an inspiration to abused women

RabbitPie Sun 18-Sep-11 09:10:53

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

handsomeharry Sun 18-Sep-11 09:12:35

Well done OP, for escaping. Hope you are relishing the freedom. You are very brave.

morrisseysquornmince Sun 18-Sep-11 09:15:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flisspaps Sun 18-Sep-11 09:32:53

Well done OP


primrose22 Sun 18-Sep-11 09:38:01

Wow, just like others I was about to respond, LEAVE HIM but you have! Here's to you and your dc's, as you embark on the wonderful, fear free life that you all deserve smile A very inspiring post x

susiedaisy Sun 18-Sep-11 10:14:13

good for you, it is great to read about other people moving on with their life after leaving an abusive relationship, i can relate to alot of what you wrote and the sense of utter relief is fantastic isnt it!grin

AnotherMumOnHere Sun 18-Sep-11 11:12:23

I'm another one echoing what the others have said OP. Well done for having the strength to get out.

Now is YOUR TIME to do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.

Well done again. Carry on the good job.

AnyFucker Sun 18-Sep-11 11:15:11

Congratulations on getting your life back

exoticfruits Sun 18-Sep-11 11:19:09

Good for you. It should be read by anyone who says they can't face life alone. Why not you wonder? confused

grumpykat Sun 18-Sep-11 11:22:09

Good for you, he sounds like a total and utter arse. You've just lost thirteen stone and gained your whole life back- hurrah!

GeekLove Sun 18-Sep-11 11:24:28

Bump so that those on here who are still trapped can see what is round the corner when they do' leave.

ChildofIsis Tue 20-Sep-11 06:31:33

OP how are doing?

I hope you are able to focus on the future and enjoy your freedom.

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