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Advice about DV and police

(6 Posts)
craftyknickers Sat 17-Sep-11 23:16:11

I started a new thread as i didnt know if people would read this question at the end of my last thread.

I have photgraphic evidence of my eye and he already has three complaints on his record for hitting me but i dropped the complaint as he was very intimidating (stupidly i took him back).

It has been four weeks since he hit me, is it too late to file a complaint? I feel that he is walking around thinking he has got away with what he has done, i didnt think he would be like that hence me not going forward sooner.

I know he will try and say i hit him and thats why he HAD to punch me. This is not the case but its his word against mine.

Any advice would be appreciated.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 18-Sep-11 02:41:36

Given that you dropped your previous complaint against him, it won't be surprising if he's walking around thinking he got away with it because you made sure he wasn't brought to account for his violence towards you.

Unless your injury was documented by a GP or hospital or similar, or your evidence can be substantiated by a third party, it will be your word against his.

While you may think that he will try to claim self-defence, I would have thought it more likely that he will claim you are trying to get back at him for leaving you (even if the fact is that you left him).

Under the circumstances, it would seem that you are best advised to make contact with the police who handled your previous complaint to see if anything can be done at this late date.

If there's nothing that can be done, try to learn from this bitter experience and move on with your life.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sun 18-Sep-11 02:46:51

It seems you've also had further responses on your previous post: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1302652-please-remind-me-what-a-knob-he-is-and-how-lucky-i-am-to-be-out

peterpan99 Sun 18-Sep-11 09:05:10

its always worth a try! go and speak to someone at the police or police help line and see what can be done. If nothing else they would then have a record of you contacting them

LowLevelWhingeing Sun 18-Sep-11 11:37:08

it's not too late to report the incident.

in my borough, the police will continue with a complaint involving DV regardless of whether the woman wants too or not. your complaint may not lead to anything, but it will be on record if nothing else.

you can contact Women's Aid for further advice and support.

good luck.

togetherwehaveitall Sun 18-Sep-11 12:02:59

Craftyknickers, no it is not too late to make a complaint. You can do that today. You speak interestingly about him walking around feeling happy that he got away with it. Do you want him to change? I suspect he won't. DV gets worse over time. (Also 50% of reportings include the man saying the woman did it to him first, or as well.) If you are on benefits, you can get an affidavit done by a solicitor, which will document the whole story. Don't worry that he will make cross accusations. The authorities are well aware of this.

Also, don't worry about the implications of him being arrested; that's his call. he provided the ying, there shall be a yang.

The question for me is - do you want to leave him? Physical DV has lots of implications on a woman. Beware my dear. See how he reacts to the Police. He should own up and take steps to get better ie a DV course and a complete change in attitude. If he does none of those things, its merely a case of how long you will waste and the degree of risk you choose to face.

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