Hi, Just wondered if anyone has experience of leaving a physically/emotionally abusive relationship via divorce, and what their experiences of the family courts are? I have never told anyone about the bruises/emotional stuff that goes along with it and have no proof. I get the impression it would not even be taken into consideration.
I am afraid that if I leave and the divorce ends up in the family courts (which it inevitably would, because my husband has threatened in the past to do everything in his power to 'get' the children if we ever split up) I would end up in a worse situation than I am in. I wouldn't want to stop him seeing them, because that would be no good for the children ( two under 5's) but I currently do everything for them apart from one half day a week, where he has them while I'm at work. They are in a nursery another 2 days. I understand that there is a starting point of 50:50 shared residence unless there is a good reason otherwise. Therefore if I leave they will then end up being with him much more than they are now, and I won't be there to protect them/move them away if he is shouting/angry/violent in any new relationships or with his family! The shouting, manipulation, violence is aimed at me, never them, but he has done it with them in the room (albeit asleep).
I know if he does it again and I tell anyone in health services/police they will expect me to leave to protect the children, but I worry about making things worse that way. What are others' experiences? Feel like I'm going mad. The decision would be easy without children, I would go.
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Domestic violence - disparity in views of social services and family courts
11 replies
inaquandry11 · 17/09/2011 12:43
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