Hi there
I recently bought myself the Women Who Love Too Much book by Robin Norwood and have found it an incredibly insightful read.
I bought it because I am sick of my relationships following the same doomed pattern.
my background is absent/unloving father and co-dependant mother. I remember snippets of my childhood but only a handful of happy times.
I am in my late-30s and never had a truly fulfilling relationship. All my exes have been alcoholics, commitmentphobes and one physically assaulted me and was also a stoner.
I am a bright woman, well-travelled, an amazing bunch of close friends and yet I am a disaster in relationships. I have never been attracted to 'nice' men. I always dive in head-first and either make a fool of myself (too clingy) or end up in one-sided relationships where I do everything for my partner's love. Nothing is never too much to ask and I am always taken for a total fool and left heartbroken questioning why has it happened again.
I am halfway through the book. I find I can only read it in small chunks as it is so overwhelming how many boxes I tick.
I have always said I never want children. Not because I don't love them (I am atually really, really good with them) but it is like my mind shut off to the idea in my 20s and I have never entertained the thought of them since (and considering the partners I have had, that is a good thing).
I am on here because I want to hear from strong women that don't behave the way I do, and also those that maybe did and can offer some advice.
I read threads on here and people say 'oh my God, he is so clingy, run for the hills' and am so ashamed as I am that person they are talking about.
Anyone have any advice? I really don't know what else to say other than I am hurting for the lost years but more worried I will never have the kind of relationships my friends seem to have.
I am the person my friends come to for top-notch advice and yet I feel such a total hypocrite because is all fairness I am probably the most messed up one of all.
Sorry this is long and thank you for reading.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Any other 'Women Who Love Too Much' here
Bluebelle38 · 16/09/2011 12:36
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