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How suspicious would you be?

(94 Posts)
CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 08:54:30

We have been together for 14 years. A few years ago he was caught out texting and he admitted flirting and going for drinks with a girl he worked with and he also has a very flirty personality.

All this was sorted out and we have been pottering about happily for the past few years.

He recently changed offices so he works for the same company but in a new branch and has started acting odd. He is very snappy with me and he did this last time also he has put a pin on his phone and it has gone from been thrown on the side and often forgotton to glued to him, he even took it in the bathroom with him last night.
He used to chat to me a lot when he was on the way to work and this has stopped and he is just acting edgy and odd.
He has a raging cold today and is still taking his phone everywhere with him it has also been put on silent.

I know something odd is going on but I don't want to ask him as he will deny it and I will start to think I'm just been a bit crazy. I want evidence so I can throw the fucker out if I find anything and get on with my life.

ShitBallsNassholes Fri 16-Sep-11 08:56:53

Trust your instincts, if he is starting to take his phone everywhere, and it's on silent IMO, it doesn't look good....

peasandlove Fri 16-Sep-11 08:57:26

sounds dodgy to me. All of us who've been cheated on by guys who did this exact same thing will recognise it. Your instincts arent wrong. Find a way to get your hands on that phone and find out what he's hiding.

And I'm sorry sad

LaLaLaLayla Fri 16-Sep-11 08:58:20

OMG, I would DEMAND to see the phone. If he refuses, then that is an admission of guilt, IMO.

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 08:58:37

I just have a horrible gut feeling, but I know if I ask him outright he will worm out of it.

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:04:08

There is one girl who works at his old office and she seems very nice but when he left she bought him a piece of jewellery (not expensve but not cheap) and wrote a really soppy seperate card to him.

I pulled him up on this but it resulted in a huge row and I was told I was paranoid and silly.

She has also wrote this on his FB page this week I'm not sire what it means.

A persons true colors will always show within time people maybe fooled for the moment but be patient and see what happens keep the faith

Surely if they were up to anything she wouldn't be so open about writing such twee crap.

LaLaLaLayla Fri 16-Sep-11 09:06:50

She wrote that on his FB page?

ShitBallsNassholes Fri 16-Sep-11 09:07:57

I used to have the horrible gut feeling's too Charlie, then I found out it wasn't me going mad, I found out my Ex was trying to meet other women for whatever he could get, and he did exactly the same as on silent, taking it to the bathroom, he even used to hide it whilst it was charging.

Peasandlove is right, you recognise the behaviour straight away once you've had the experience.

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:08:15

Yes but I am also on her friends list so surely she wouldn't do that if anything was going on.

She is a really nice girl too I just feel a bit paranoid about everything.

IwanttobeShirleyValentine Fri 16-Sep-11 09:10:03

It does sound suspicious to me and I would be suspicious.

What does he do with his phone at night when he sleeps? Can you get to it then?

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:10:50

I just don't want to do what I usually do as he seems to get the upper hand and then I look like a paranoid raving loony who is just jealous.

I want to be dignified and I want it to end even if he has just been sending flirty texts, I am over spending my life with someone who shows me no respect. This is why I want evidence.

LaLaLaLayla Fri 16-Sep-11 09:10:51

If they are having an affair, then maybe she did it to force things out in the open?

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:12:01

He used to bring it upstairs, I tried to find it this morning but couldn't.

ToPeeOrNotToPee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:12:45

Set your to 3.30am and then get the phone

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:12:47

I really don't think it is her I would be very shocked.

Cheria Fri 16-Sep-11 09:12:51

Hate to say this but I would be VERY suspicious in your circumstances.

ToPeeOrNotToPee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:13:06


CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:13:37

He has just told me I look miserable. Ha!

LaLaLaLayla Fri 16-Sep-11 09:15:20

Can't you confront him right now? Say, "hand over your phone or get out". Then you will know for sure.

StickyGhost Fri 16-Sep-11 09:16:58

Does he get a phone bill or have online billing or anything? Could u hack in? (Even on my PAYG phone I've registered it online and so can see my recent usage on there).

Anniegetyourgun Fri 16-Sep-11 09:17:45

Maybe the nice ex-colleague is just that, but he's interested in someone else who you don't know about.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that if you're just looking for evidence so you can throw him out, this relationship has pretty much run its course, OW or no OW. If you were keen on spending the rest of your life with him you'd be hoping he wasn't up to anything, not that he was.

CharlieMcGee Fri 16-Sep-11 09:18:10

I don't want to our toddler is home and full of cold too, he will shout and I want proof and to be able to sort it calmly.

clutteredup Fri 16-Sep-11 09:18:47

Can you 'lose' your phone or leave it 'uncharged' so you might need to borrow his while you 'pop out to the shops' for five minutes - if you can come up with a reason why you might need to borrow his phone for a bit he'll have to come up with a really good reason not to lend it to you and quite reasonably you can ask him the pin, I borrow DHs phone all the time mine is usually genuinely lost or uncharged hmm

ShitBallsNassholes Fri 16-Sep-11 09:19:23

You need to try and get hold of the phone, if you confront him now with no evidence, it will tip him off that you are suspicious, and he will hide things even more, do you know his password for facebook, if he's suddenly changed this too, it's looking even more likely that he's up to something.

follyfoot Fri 16-Sep-11 09:20:47

Could you tell him your phone is broken, you need to go out and would like to borrow his phone? His reluctance (or otherwise) to let you borrow his will tell you everything you need to know. Make it a sudden thing so he wouldnt have time to text anyone to tell them not to call or to remove any messages on there. There is no earthly reason why a husband with nothing to hide wouldnt just hand over his phone.

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