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Would this set alarm bells ringing?

(14 Posts)
TheGhostNotMe Thu 15-Sep-11 21:12:53

Or am I just being over cautious?

On POF. Started chatting to a guy, he mailed me. Seemed nice. Chatted on email for a couple of weeks. Swapped mobile numbers and text.

Since then he has been, well a bit keen. He said two days about ringing me (we havent met up yet) which I kind of ignored. He said he'd pulled over in his car when I text the other day to reply immediately. He text me wednesday morning, and because I didnt reply (busy day) he mailed me through POF again.

He mailed me today saying he is deleting his profile from POF as he wants to concentrate on me!

He has also been a bit OTT on the texts.

My alarm bells are ringing that this is too much, and to step away now without even meeting him properly.

Am I being over cautious? Or should I trust my gut feeling? This is my first proper dating in years, been single two years after a 6 year relationship and finding it hard with the kids!

Proudnscary Thu 15-Sep-11 21:14:05

Trust your instincts.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 15-Sep-11 21:15:38

Run! Run like the wind!

Pancakeflipper Thu 15-Sep-11 21:15:59

I hate over eagerness. It's creepy... I'd go with your instincts too.

Ziggimajiggi Thu 15-Sep-11 21:17:38

Yep - trust your gut instinct. This sounds reaaaaallly creepy!

rightchoice Thu 15-Sep-11 21:21:17

If he is stalking you now imagine what it might be like if you dated him. Find your trainers, and run.

issey6cats Thu 15-Sep-11 21:25:43

run for the hills girl 8 years ago my husband went all out to win me, did the charm, left me reeling he was the perfect guy, met him through a dating agency, and when it was too late i found out he was living with someone till she found out about me, skip to now and he hasnt changed his spots, chatting up women online, secret phone, texting women, thats it finished and he will do it to the next poor lady who believes him on chat sites

brodanbell Thu 15-Sep-11 21:27:47

He sounds way too keen. What do you mean when you say 'He said two days about ringing me'? Clearly it will make him sound like a bit more of a nutter, but I just wanted to know.

I wouldn't meet with him. Let him down gently!

TheGhostNotMe Thu 15-Sep-11 21:29:08

Thank you. I feel bad as he could be genuinely nice. But I just cant deal with a) clingyness (I have 2 kids, a job and a house to run, dont have the time!) or b) stalking like.

I cant block him on POF as he's deleted his profile. But he has said he dropped his phone today (thought it had been quiet) and hadnt saved my number to his SIM so came back on to msg me asking me to text him.

Think I might just not.

Or should I mail him and give some form of explanation?

TheGhostNotMe Thu 15-Sep-11 21:30:34

brodanbell - sorry, missed out a couple of words! been a long day! We basically swapped numbers on Sunday. He said Tuesday (2 days ago) he was going to ring me (2 days after getting my number) to talk in the evening. As it was he text me first asking if the kids were asleep - and I ignored it.....

rightchoice Thu 15-Sep-11 21:36:42

You simply do not have to explain yourself to him - if it feels wrong, sounds wrong then its WRONG. When he finds someone else to call he will leave you alone. Don't feel guilty, stay in control of your freedom, it's precious.

cecilyparsley Thu 15-Sep-11 21:54:04

he does seem over keen, and I'd find that off putting..I find it's best to be a bit reserved until you actually have a face to face meeting with someone, otherwise you'll feel a pratt if you've been over enthusiastic only to find that, in the flesh, the other person is just not your cup of tea.

That said men do tend to be over enthusiastic with POF type internet dating because they know they have alot of competition...they feel they have to pull out all the stops to get you to agree to that initial meeting

I've met people who turned out to be far nicer than I expected from their electronic communications.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 15-Sep-11 22:02:35

You're supposed to be flattered and obligated to him before you've even met.

No need to explain. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

FabbyChic Thu 15-Sep-11 22:30:08

Be fair if you were keen yourself you would have text him to ask him to call you, you didn't. So you have never been overly keen.

They do say that rather than talk so much by email text you should if you like the look of someone just meet straight away other wise you could waste weeks yacking only to find when you meet there is no spark.

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