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Is it just MY family??

(2 Posts)
TheFrogs Wed 14-Sep-11 19:46:25

The dc's fish kept dying (which was really upsetting dd) so a couple of months ago I bought a bigger fish tank thinking our little guppie starter thing was way too small. Then I was ill and not really able to get out much until now. So this week I bought the plants, a few fish etc. as ds was going on and on about getting a particular fish.

Today my mum was nipping to the supermarket and asked if I wanted anything. I said I didn't really need anything which was good because I hadn't got much money left until Friday anyway (bills are paid, just wanted to leave a little in the account). "Food is more important than fish thefrogs" was the response I got. So when she popped round later I took her into the kitchen and showed her the cupboard and fridge both bursting with food. "Oh" she says "I thought you had nothing in". Me: "have you ever known me to not have food in?" Mum: "no". Me: "have you ever known me to not feed my children?" Mum "no". Me "so why did you assume I spent money on fish rather than food?" Mum "erm....I didn't mean it like that, it was the way you said it". Not half. I get a lot of this from her. Constant criticism and little snippy comments, she just plucks an idea out of nowhere and runs with it.

My family are the same. My nan used to say she'd knitted something for one of the kids when they were little "but I dont suppose you'll let him/her wear it"...Me confused "why on earth wouldn't I?" "well your cousin Sarah doesn't let little Polly wear anything I make".

My aunt too "I bought a lovely dress for your dd but if you wont let her wear it just sell it" Me "why on earth woudn't I?" "well your cousin Sarah wont let little Polly wear anything I buy".

Cousin Sarah was a spoilt ungrateful child who is now a spoilt ungrateful adult. I'm nothing like her, they know this. I'm the only one in the family who keeps quiet and doesn't cause any trouble!

I've had messages on my answerphone that they didn't realise they'd left where I could hear them discussing the reason I haven't answered the phone "she must have one on her, she's ignoring us etc".

These are just examples, it's gone on like this for all my adult life.

It really does hurt that the people I care about seem to have such a low opinion of me over things that other people have done!! They've known me all my life, so where do all these assumptions come from?! Are all families like this? confused

MadamXx Wed 14-Sep-11 20:22:28

Oh thank god it's not just me.

I get comments such as:

"oh Madamxx will be cooking beans on toast for christmas lunch!" (I always do a proper christmas lunch)
"Oh Madamxx won't let the DCs wear that!" (why wouldn't I??)
"Madamxx will be exagurating about that car accident, you know what she's like!" (why on earth would I?!)

It used to be bother me hugely. Now I couldn't really give a shit. Let them think what they want, you know the truth.

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