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Please help me get rid of the 'Dredgewood'

(6 Posts)
newhorizon Wed 14-Sep-11 13:21:57

Sorry posted here earlier in the year, I could just do with some 'clearing of the dredgewood' please.

Ex walked out on myself and his 3 year old dd (who is now 4) in January of this year. He is now getting married to ow next week (8 mths later). He has cut all contact with our dd emotionally and financially. I just heard last year, he also has another 21 yo dd which he abandoned - eh what a catch!. He returned to the UK, I'm in Rep. of Ireland.

I can't get my head around how someone could be so cruel and especially to their own dd's. I thought we were doing great, my dd and I, but unfortunately the big day is approaching and I feel sick to the stomach that someone we thought loved and cared for us could disregard us in such a manner. I know we are well rid, but emotionally and financially it is a struggle at times.

How do we move on from this? or is it just the big day approaching that has dredged all the hurt back the surface

mummytime Wed 14-Sep-11 13:38:31

Okay were you married? Do you have a court order for maintenance for your child? If you have a court order you can apply through the UK courts to have it enforced as both Ireland and the UK are part of the EU.
I would see a solicitor for advice.

Personally I would also get some counselling, both to get over him, and to ensure I didn't fall for someone like him again.

Good luck!

mummytime Wed 14-Sep-11 13:40:03

Just to add this seems like a very good website maintenance Ireland.

newhorizon Wed 14-Sep-11 13:45:14

Thank you mummytime.

No, we were not married, thank god or he would have walked off anyway with half my house/posessions etc. The child maintenance is all in hand, just waiting for UK to issue the court order, which is taking some time.

I have been to a counsellor but that was when this initially happened, but you are right I should continue to ensure I don't attract the same sort again. I did think I was doing good until this last week or so. Hopefully when the big day is over - that'll be it.

mummytime Wed 14-Sep-11 14:13:24

Hopefully his wedding will be as cathartic for you as a good funeral, and once its over you can move on. DO NOT be at all jealous of her, as she will be stuck with him. And if he has done the dirty (abandoning kids) twice at least...well, I wouldn't see him as a good catch.

HotBurrito1 Wed 14-Sep-11 14:23:05

Poor you. Make a plan for your own 'big day' when you can celebrate not being tied to this guy. Have a special meal with your DD then plan a film wineand chocolate for the evening (or whatever will feel like pampering for you). Then if you want to blub you can, or you might just look forward to a better future with someone who actually deserves to be with you both.

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