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not sure where to put this

(8 Posts)
pat1066 Wed 14-Sep-11 10:22:47

dh (not so dear) has had two single hols this year, one for mates 50th another for stag do. both abroad. we have had no family holiday as we are broke. husband paid long time ago for both of these and told me gradually about each one. wouldnt normally be so upset but i work 6 till 6 monday to friday, do all the evening taxi running for teens and he seems to do as little as possible. i totally lost the plot over the last week, send really really really vicious texts to him while he was away. he just does not understand. to top it all he did not even bring us back a gift, not even a small one. i really think i am losing the broke down this morning, dd late (very late for school. i just lost it in car, started crying and shaking, so tired, dh and me not speaking, i have not had any time off since a week last xmas, self employed so dont get paid. i just dont know where to turn anymore. kids think it normal for fat slob husband to watch telly and go on hols with mates while i just slog.

HereIGo Wed 14-Sep-11 10:39:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fenella1212 Wed 14-Sep-11 10:51:20

Poor you, you must be totally nackered. The fact that he booked both trips and them told you about then gradually shows he knows he was in the wrong but did it anyway. What a git.

I agree with HereIGo, get yourself a couple of days away, you mention taxiing teens so presume your children are old enough to cope by themselves if Dad doesn't step up? Even if you don't get paid (the self employment trap - I know all about that one!) you need some time off and sounds like git-man won't facilitate that so just take it.

As you pointed out, this situation is giving your kids the wrong message about family dynamics.

HereIGo Wed 14-Sep-11 13:39:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shesgotherlipstickon Wed 14-Sep-11 13:42:42

I don't get these older men, with commitments, who think it's ok to go out on lads holidays, whilst neglecting the family status quo. I couldn't live like that.

pat1066 Wed 14-Sep-11 15:16:57

he has text me, sort myself out, and stop sulking or he will tell kids he is leaving. my abusive texts and unreasonable behavior is too much and he wont put up withit. i tell him how dare he blame me, he should not have gone, should have spent time with me, i am at breaking point and if thats how it is i will hand keys back to bank now, as no equity in house. he has not replied. am beside self, how bloody dare he

AnyFucker Wed 14-Sep-11 15:40:19

After your last post, my advice is for you to take him up on his offer to leave.

You need some time apart.

Possibly permanently.

pink4ever Wed 14-Sep-11 15:53:40

You need to call his bluff. Tell him to go but remind him that he will still have to be responsible for the house and your dcs. Tell him how poor he is going to be now that he will have to pay you maintenance and try to find some where else to live. Do not back down-do not be made to feel in the wrong.
I put up with something similiar a few years ago-dh went away on a football trip even though his job was on the line and we couldnt afford it. Hell will freeze over before I allow myself to be treated like that again.

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