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How much do you and DP/DH talk? Feeling down

(3 Posts)
welshbyrd Tue 13-Sep-11 11:47:07

At night when DCs are in bed?

I recently noticed DH and I do not talk when DCs are in bed, he spends a large amount of time, on PC, his tablet and his phone, downloading apps etc, aswell as other things

I walked out last night and went to a pals [did not argue, or say anything], for a few hours, as I have had enough of sitting in the same room as someone each evening and it being total silence, Obvs we ask each if we/they want a coffee,toast etc but seems that is as far as it goes sad

I am a SAHM, gave up my job for DH to work, we worked different hours so is not workable for us to both work with DD still only being 2.4yo [have 2 other DCs from previous relationship, DD13yo and DS 8yo]

Basically Im at home all day with DD, the highlight is doing the school run. Dh comes home at 4.15pm, we talk about DCs, have dinner, take DCs out on bikes or to visit my nieces/nephews for an hour or 2, come home, sort DCs for bed, do lunch boxes, then chill in lounge.

We have not had any cuddles/kisses/sex in 5-6 months, [this has been a issue since DDs birth, we discuss it every 4-5 months, well actually we do not discuss it, I bring it up,it seems if I do not mention it, he is quite happy with the way things are sad ] We agree to try and make more effort, it happens for 2 weeks max, then tails off again, until months later when I broach the subject again]

Im bored out of my brains if Im honest,I look after DD all day, which I love.But I do crave some adult convasation/laugh/fun etc, and it does not happen

All weekend I went to bed at 8pm ish, because I feel so hurt by the silence in the house each night, I have noticed this the last week, if Im honest its being going on for a long time, its like a light bulb has switched itself on in my head this week.

He is a very good dad, helps around the house, am grateful for this,but the silence/coldness/lack of well anything is really getting me down

brandnewname Tue 13-Sep-11 12:28:10

dh and I do not talk that much. I tend to be the one who logs on and e-mails people to get some social contact as dh says he "wants to relax not have a conversation". He does complain when I disappear upstairs - he wants me sitting with him watching TV but not really talking. Have been discussing my getting a smartphone so that I can e-mail from downstairs (but I suspect that he will not like this either!).

I do think that many men talk less than women and that also if he is communicating all day at work then maybe he just needs to talk less at night.

We are the same with sex btw but he has now agreed to put his arm around me (occaisonally) when we sit on the sofa.

Can you go out during the day and meet other parents?

ImperialBlether Tue 13-Sep-11 19:56:58

Welshbyrd, is this a new thing with your husband? What was he like when you first started to live together?

I would hate to live with someone who was deliberately quiet. It would be hard enough for me if they were just naturally a quiet person, but if they seemed to have made a decision not to talk, I couldn't deal with that.

Does he talk to his friends?

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