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Relationships

Help me stop being flattered and having my head turned.

12 replies

Aworryingtrend · 12/09/2011 15:04

There is a man who I know 'likes' me in that way. He is married and I suspect a serial philanderer. I am very, very, happily married and absolutely in love with my amazing husband.

So why do I occasionally find my mind wandering to this man, and making an extra effort with my appearance when I know he is going to be around? I have tried giving myself a stern talking-to but its been going on for months now and I don't seem to have snapped out of it yet.

OP posts:

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lubeybooby · 12/09/2011 15:06

Well you must be enjoying the attention, and as long as that's all it is no problem - I think you should start avoiding him though if you truly value this amazing husband as you say you do. Crushes do pass.

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CleverClod · 12/09/2011 15:12

Enjoy the attention, laugh it off and then think of all you have to lose.

Think of your children, your home, your memories with your husband - how much you love all that.

You have so much, why throw it all away?

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sandyballs · 12/09/2011 15:15

Nothing wrong wtih being flattered and enjoying the attention but don't let it go any further.

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paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 12/09/2011 15:23

Think very seriously about what you stand to loose. Also how would you feel if your DH was behaving like this? Although nothing has yet happened, I suspect rather hurt.
The grass is not always greener on the other side!

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MangoMonster · 12/09/2011 15:37

Nothing wrong with fantasising. Just don't act on it and if youcant trust yourself, stay away from him. It's all very exciting now, but seriously, it will only end with you in a pile of steaming s**t and everyone around you hurt.

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HairyGrotter · 12/09/2011 15:47

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the attention BUT if it starts to impact on your marriage then it's time to buck up your ideas

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PonceyMcPonce · 12/09/2011 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tianc · 12/09/2011 16:00

I don't understand why this is even flattering.

If he's a serial philanderer, his attentions have nothing to do with your stunning beauty, magnetic personality or awe-inspiring intellect, and everything to do with him seeing you as shallow, easily manipulated and not worthy of the trust your amazing husband accords you.

There, did that help?

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MangoMonster · 12/09/2011 16:09

Agree with tianc, that will probably snap you out of it, if required.

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Aworryingtrend · 12/09/2011 16:22

Thanks all. Tianc, that was an excellent metaphorical boot up the bum! it's true, I really don't know why I find it flattering as I have no doubt that he tries the same caper with many other female acquaintances and that is nothing to write home about.

I do indeed have an awful lot to lose and I am very mindful of this.

OP posts:

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pinkytheshrinky · 12/09/2011 16:26

How would you feel if your DH was having and equivalent flirtation?

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Aworryingtrend · 12/09/2011 16:33

I haven't said anywhere that I am flirting with him Pinky. Quite the opposite in fact as I am almost being a bit cold so as to not encourage him. I think it's quite clear from my OP that I am not enjoying feeling this way as my DH and I are very much in love so it feels alien to me to be thinking about another man. I am trying to get him out of my head.