Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help me stop being flattered and having my head turned.

(13 Posts)
Aworryingtrend Mon 12-Sep-11 15:04:25

There is a man who I know 'likes' me in that way. He is married and I suspect a serial philanderer. I am very, very, happily married and absolutely in love with my amazing husband.

So why do I occasionally find my mind wandering to this man, and making an extra effort with my appearance when I know he is going to be around? I have tried giving myself a stern talking-to but its been going on for months now and I don't seem to have snapped out of it yet.

lubeybooby Mon 12-Sep-11 15:06:45

Well you must be enjoying the attention, and as long as that's all it is no problem - I think you should start avoiding him though if you truly value this amazing husband as you say you do. Crushes do pass.

CleverClod Mon 12-Sep-11 15:12:50

Enjoy the attention, laugh it off and then think of all you have to lose.

Think of your children, your home, your memories with your husband - how much you love all that.

You have so much, why throw it all away?

sandyballs Mon 12-Sep-11 15:15:03

Nothing wrong wtih being flattered and enjoying the attention but don't let it go any further.

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife Mon 12-Sep-11 15:23:44

Think very seriously about what you stand to loose. Also how would you feel if your DH was behaving like this? Although nothing has yet happened, I suspect rather hurt.
The grass is not always greener on the other side!

MangoMonster Mon 12-Sep-11 15:37:49

Nothing wrong with fantasising. Just don't act on it and if youcant trust yourself, stay away from him. It's all very exciting now, but seriously, it will only end with you in a pile of steaming s**t and everyone around you hurt.

HairyGrotter Mon 12-Sep-11 15:47:21

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the attention BUT if it starts to impact on your marriage then it's time to buck up your ideas

PonceyMcPonce Mon 12-Sep-11 15:49:34

I agree enjoy it, but always bear in mind how many women he has said these things to and how important your dh is to you.

If you feel wobbly, just avoid him.

Tianc Mon 12-Sep-11 16:00:44

I don't understand why this is even flattering.

If he's a serial philanderer, his attentions have nothing to do with your stunning beauty, magnetic personality or awe-inspiring intellect, and everything to do with him seeing you as shallow, easily manipulated and not worthy of the trust your amazing husband accords you.

There, did that help? grin

MangoMonster Mon 12-Sep-11 16:09:30

Agree with tianc, that will probably snap you out of it, if required.

Aworryingtrend Mon 12-Sep-11 16:22:06

Thanks all. Tianc, that was an excellent metaphorical boot up the bum! it's true, I really don't know why I find it flattering as I have no doubt that he tries the same caper with many other female acquaintances and that is nothing to write home about.

I do indeed have an awful lot to lose and I am very mindful of this.

pinkytheshrinky Mon 12-Sep-11 16:26:41

How would you feel if your DH was having and equivalent flirtation?

Aworryingtrend Mon 12-Sep-11 16:33:50

I haven't said anywhere that I am flirting with him Pinky. Quite the opposite in fact as I am almost being a bit cold so as to not encourage him. I think it's quite clear from my OP that I am not enjoying feeling this way as my DH and I are very much in love so it feels alien to me to be thinking about another man. I am trying to get him out of my head.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now