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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is this in the tw@t handbook?

20 replies

OBlimey · 11/09/2011 14:13

Had a relationship with someone who was a bit of an arse.

Took advice on here, and got rid, still in touch but not a great deal.

Still care, but told him I wanted alot of distance right now, maybe meet in a few months for a coffee.

He has just replied to tell me he is leaving in a few months to spend 6 months in the states, he has said stuff like this before but it has never materialised.

I now (weak) feel like I want to see him before he goes, but unsure If I am bing manipulated, last 2 times he said similar, his plans fell through, so not sure if he is playing again.

OP posts:

Report

Tortington · 11/09/2011 14:14

why would you want to see soeone you ended a relationship with

parentfailure · 11/09/2011 14:16

''Had a relationship with someone who was a bit of an arse.''................

So why meet up with him???

Tell him you'd love to meet up with him when he gets back if you are feeling weak!

OBlimey · 11/09/2011 14:18

Still like him I suppose:-(

OP posts:

giyadas · 11/09/2011 14:20

It does sound like you are being manipulated. I agree with parentfailure, tell him you'll meet up when he gets back.
Probably best to just make a clean break and move on though.

pictish · 11/09/2011 14:21

Make a clean break. No more contact at all.

ImperialBlether · 11/09/2011 14:29

Just say, oh okay then, I'll see you when you get back, in six months' time.

Then put th ephone down and don't give him another thought.

Anniegetyourgun · 11/09/2011 14:30

A true friend would wish him Bon Voyage and hope he has a lovely time.

Do you often buy something you didn't particularly want because it's the last one in the shop?

beatenbyayellowteacup · 11/09/2011 14:34

OBlimey you need to move on.

Bangtastic · 11/09/2011 14:41

He has form for pulling this stunt, and you're falling for it again? Oh dear. Move on, suggest he does the same, to the next foolish bint and far away from you.

RufousBartleby · 11/09/2011 14:44

I think you know the answer to this already.

Take a deep breath, delete his number....and let it go.

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/09/2011 15:12

"last 2 times he said similar, his plans fell through, so not sure if he is playing again."
Actually OBlimey, you ARE sure that he is playing you again. Get a grip!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 11/09/2011 15:15

he is leaving in a few months to spend 6 months in the states

In that case he ain't going nowhere for the foreseeable future.

Tell him you'll be at the airport to see him off - obviously, you will have far more important things to do like watching paint dry in the unlikely event that he goes through with his plan.

Jeez, life's too short to play games with arses like him. Kiss him off and get yourself a decent guy who won't fuck with your head - contrary to what you may believe, there's plenty of them out there.

buzzskillington · 11/09/2011 15:19

He was quite the mainpulator, as I recall. Really, don't rise to his bait.

buzzskillington · 11/09/2011 15:25

manipulator [sigh]

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 11/09/2011 15:53

You can't have a relationship with a manipulative arse because they're only into themselves.

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 11/09/2011 16:22

I remember your thread about this man from a couple months back, OBlimey.

He was an arse then, he still is one now.

What could you do to look into yourself to understand why you are still considering giving this twat the time of day? Many posters here could give you plenty of reading material, for example.

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/09/2011 16:23

OBlimey, have just revisited your old thread. I think you need to too. Please, read it over from start to finish.

As a reminder, posted by yourself on Sun 03-Jul-11 22:58:08

"Now I am liking him again

Need a slap"

neuroticmumof3 · 11/09/2011 16:31

He's manipulating you. You can't be friends with someone like this so stop having contact with him.

MilkandWine · 11/09/2011 17:40

OBlimey, I remember your thread, the man was and still is a grade A tool.

You should not be in contact with him at all and you certainly shouldn't be meeting up with him again.

He is a liar and manipulator, he probably has no intention of moving away (he's a already pulled the same trick twice ffs!) By continuing to stay in touch you are letting him mess with your mind. Show yourself more respect and love and STOP contacting him.

Unless of course you enjoy having men treat you like shite, mess with your head and make you feel dreadful? but I'm assuming not?

HerdOfTinyElephants · 11/09/2011 17:49

to tell me he is leaving in a few months to spend 6 months in the states

"That sounds fab; you must tell me all about it when you get back"

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