I have a friend who split up with her "D"P and father of her DD about 2 years ago. He was abusive - physically, emotionally and verbally and had numerous affairs throughout their 12 year relationship.
He continues to be a shit. He changes access arrangements with his DD as and when it suits him (often just not bothering to turn up or cancelling at the last minute because he's too hungover ). His maintenance payments are also very hit & miss. He continues to be nasty to my friend - calling her names, sending nasty texts, questioning her parenting skills (often publicly).
The biggest problem is that my friend is still really affected by him and his behaviour. She hasn't moved on at all. She acknowledges he was abusive and would never go back to him but still refers to him as "the love of her life".
Her self esteem is none existent and she still questions herself all the time (what did she do wrong ? why wasn't she "good enough" for him to be faithful to her ?)
She is really depressed. Has said that she would kill herself if it wasn't for her DD. She has been on anti d's and have a few counselling sessions but can't afford private ones and only got 6 sessions on the NhS ?? They clearly didn't work .
I just want to be able to say something or do something to stop her effectively blaming herself.
Soooo. Any suggestions ? Any books that perhaps I could give her ? Is there anyone who has felt like this and had some kind of lightbulb moment and if so, can I help her to get there ? Its been 2 years and she's no less fucked up by him that she was when she left
Sorry its long
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Help me help a friend please ....
6 replies
Tillyscoutsmum · 08/09/2011 19:43
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