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Do I tell my friend that my sister knows her secret?

(12 Posts)

I am going with a close friend tomorrow for her to have an abortion, I asked my sister if she could look after my DS for a few hours, as I had to go to hospital with someone but couldnt tell her any more, and she guessed why (she has seen my friend not drinking on two occasions in the last month, plus my friend mentioned in a jokey way that she was pregnant).
Do I tell my friend that my sister knows? I feel awful that I have inadvertently told someone, but dont want it to make her feel worse if I tell her, or worse, if she finds out another way and I didnt...
WWYD?

I wouldn't tell her, why should you? you'd make the day even harder and I would say if she did find out that she guessed based on what you said in your OP and that you neither confirmed not denied it.

I would try and avoid stressing her out unless you really think that your sister can't be relied upon to stay quiet!?

buzzsorekillington Tue 06-Sep-11 21:43:02

Is your sister likely to tell all and sundry or will she keep it to herself?

You didn't do a very good cover story - giving the 'i can't tell anymore' bit hmm. You won't be winning any confidant of the year prizes.

I didnt want to lie about where I would be, as there is no phone signal in the hospital so she wouldnt be able to get hold of me and I wouldnt want her to panic. I did originally just ask if she could have him cause I had to go to hospital, but she started worrying cause I'm pregnant that something was wrong with me.
Plus she then said that she would be in uni so couldnt have him til later, and she was the only person who can have him tomorrow at all, so her BF would need to pick him up, and I felt I had to explain that it was important, but without actually explaining sad
I feel like a shit friend now sad
She wont tell intentionally, I know that. But then I didnt mean to...

PonceyMcPonce Tue 06-Sep-11 21:52:43

Well I would imagine it was fairly obvious and your sis needs to be discreet.

I hope you cope ok tomorrow . It could be a but doublethink for you.

PonceyMcPonce Tue 06-Sep-11 21:53:31

Sorry I meant a bit doublethink.

Are you visibly pg?

Only a little bit, only 8+4 atm but DS is only 11m so belly wasnt flat to start!

I dont feel great about it, but she needs me and no matter how bad I feel, I'm sure she feels a million times worse.

PonceyMcPonce Tue 06-Sep-11 22:06:54

Sorry, did not mean to pry but was in a similar position once and friend decided she would rather go alone than with me in the end.

Sounds like it will be a tough day all round. Glad she has a good friend.

Nihilisticbunny Tue 06-Sep-11 22:34:19

I wouldn't say anything Beyond, it will be stressful enough anyway, just tell your sister to keep her trap shut. I went with my friend while she had an abortion, it was really horrible, poor girl.

The worst thing was that all the nurses were giving their sympathy to me hmm I had a few say "it must be so hard for you" erm no, it's distressing to see my friend upset and in pain, it's harder for her fgs.

They will feel the full force of my hormones if they say something so stupid to me! angry

Dont worry about "prying" Ponce smile

Thanks guys. Still feel awful, but will cope. Midwife is coming to do booking in appt in the morning so I have a busy day!

HeifferunderConstruction Tue 06-Sep-11 22:55:15

On a side note not your an amazing friend going to an abortion clinic whilst being pg yourself , I couldn't

Do you think she will tell anyone??

That shes having an abortion? Only one of her other friends knows (I dont know her though)
Its in the hospital, not a clinic. Not sure if this makes it easier for me..?
So far I'm compartmentalising. Her situation is not comparable to mine, I'm married and have my DS already, she lives with her dad and got preg while on holiday abroad.

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