I can't believe this is happening to us, and I don't really know where to start. We got together eight years ago, have been married for four, and have a two-year-old DD. Our relationship has had a fair few ups and downs, but I've always taken him back.
For the last four years or so our sex life has been pretty much non-existent, (supposedly) due to his very low sex drive. I have found this very difficult and have tried broaching it gently, tried ignoring it, tried talking about it frankly, tried spicing things up... but nothing has changed. Over the last six months or so, he's acknowledged that this is a problem for me, that it really affects my self-esteem, and that he'll seek medical help... but he hasn't done a thing about it.
I've felt pretty down-trodden about other elements of our relationship too, possibly emotional abuse, and everything came to a head a month or so ago. I just couldn't go on any more, and told him I was leaving. We live overseas and I booked tickets for DD and I to return to the UK. The earliest tickets we could get were for 5 days later. We went, but before we left, H and I made up. Not for the first time, he promised the world to me, told me DD and I were everything to him, and not for the first time I believed him. A week after our break in the UK, things started going bad again. Two nights ago I tried to initiate sex. We didn't really get going, and we started talking. He told me he thinks he might be gay, but isn't sure.
I was pretty shocked when he told me, but must have come across as supportive because he is surprised that today I'm questioning where this leaves us. He thinks our problems are not insurmountable, and that we're both great parents to DD. It would break my heart to take her away from her dad, but what else can I do now really? I'm so very, very sad and alone.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
H told me two nights ago he's questioning his sexuality.
BitzerMaloneyAllSkinnyAndBony · 06/09/2011 16:14
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