It looks like we are headed for divorce. I don't want to work it out, i have realised what a twat he is and has been.
I can't get to CAB for various reasons, can anyone advise where to even start looking for with to do? I asked him to leave and he won't go. I have nothing at all except debt (SAHM) we have 3 children if that makes a difference.
No you don't have to go through a sollicitor. You can do a 'DIY' divorce. But if you can I would go and see a sollicitor to be sure you are not getting fooled.
I was surprised for example to learn that with 2 dcs and being together for more than 10 years, I could 'ask' for more than 50% of the house ('ask' as it is a reasonnable request). What is reasonnable or not will depend a lot on the circumstances, hence going to see a sollicitor is a good idea. If you are a SAHM, you can get legal ais (until end of october. It's getting withdrawn for divorce after that date).
Not sure about the tenancy agreement. but if you are renting, does it matter as much if he or you moves out?
Look up (or ask a solicitor about) "matrimonial home rights". I'm not a lawyer, but I think it means that a married couple both have equal rights to inhabit the matrimonial home, whether it is bought or rented, and whoever's name is on the paperwork. This situation lasts until a formal separation agreement or divorce settlement comes into force.
Could you afford the rent on your own? ie would the Local Housing Allowance rate for your area cover it? I think you might be better off getting an appointment at your local housing office for advice. The fact that your name isn't on the tenancy might act in your favour as they would not accept any duty to help you if you had a suitable home already - but if you go and say 'well it's his flat, in his name only, the relationship has ended, I need to leave' they may assist you in locating a private rent for you and the DCs. They have deposit guarantee schemes for those who haven't got the cash themselves. You could apply for a crisis loan to help with moving costs and the first month's rent (don't rely on it though, hard to get). Freecycle for furniture. If you have good friends get them on board to help. You can do it.
Then go and see a sollicitor to see if you could have the rental agreement put under you name. It would make sense he is the one to leave. The solliciotr should also be able to gie you some guidance re the debts (Are they all in your name? Were they debts coming from long agao under your name/his name or debts to keep the family afloat?) and see who is responsible for them.
But I think you might want to have a look at how much you have exactely to live on so that you can see if you can stay where you are too. Even if it would obvioulsy be better if you could stay (not the least for the dcs), if you can't afford it you will have to move out.
Also go and see a financial advisor to have a better idea of what you can do to reduce repayment on the debts etc...