We don't do anything massive but we try to be considerate of each other - say thanks for doing household stuff or organising things, buy each other a beer or some choccies when you know they've had a rough day. Small tokens that show you'be been thinking of each other
I think that actions can speak louder than words in showing appreciation. So if dh has tidied, its about NOT coming in and dumping bags in the hall, mail on the kitchen table, newspapers on the living room floor, and generally undoing his hard work in a matter of minutes.
I also try to anticipate his needs, so if he's had a long train journey home from work I make him a cup of tea when he gets in, before I start ranting about my day.
I always say thank you, even for tiny things. I'm always considerate, like venus says - if he's cleaned don't get home and leave stuff laying about. Basically by treating him how I want to be treated I think he feels appreciated.
I don't go in for buying gifts to show appreciation really though, not my style.
Say thanks for things he does, compliment him on how he looks, tell him I am proud of him (I often am for the work he does). Sadly what would make him feel appreciated would be lots of hot sex but as I have the libido of a slug and the energy of a sloth, and we have a 14yr old who doesn't so sleep, that is a bit problematic
Little gestures like if I am in Tesco I will buy him a 'treat' even if it's just a particular packet of crisps I know he likes. I make him sound like a dog. We don't really go in for big gestures and presents either, but I find a pork pie goes a lot further than a Rolex ever would.
I send him little romantic texts at work sometimes (not bombarding, just once in a while) but often when he gets home he still hasn't read them, then reads them in front of me which is a bit embarrassing so I should really stop doing it.
I'm working on it and know I can focus on the negative rather than the positive which I am trying to change. So last night when I got home from work and the kitchen looked like a sequel to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I dug really deep and instead of commenting on the disaster area focussed really hard on the dozen batches of shepherd's pie and lasagne that he had cooked up to pop in the freezer. I probably found it harder than I should have done but OMG the state of the kitchen!
Yes I do. A few years ago I got into the habit of taking him for granted and then I realised what a superstar I have and now I do everything I can to make him know how appreciative i am of him.
I also make the boys appreciate him and when he does something good for them (i.e everyday) I make sure the boys know their dad has gone the extra mile for them and to thank him.
This is now coming naturally to them and I don't have to say much if anything thesed days. The youngest (nearly 12) always rushes to the door to give him a kiss when DH gets in and askes how his (work) day went. Ds1 (15) will ask about work and chat to him.
Having a 3 year old and a 10 month is no excuse for not making your partner feel appreciated. It takes seconds to put your arm around them and a peck on the cheek to say ' Love you loads' It's not going out of your way to have a special tea night or get a favourite beer or snack in. And before I sound like a mad Stepford wife, it works both ways. Dh will pick me up a bar of my favourite chocolate or if he goes to town he will get me a pair of earings from my favourite shop. It's the little things that make life sweet.
I tend to leave little notes saying 'missing you' 'forever yours' etc in his sandwiches that I make him before he heads to work. We always hold eachother when falling asleep... I'm sure he'd say he lovea the fact I don't moan when he plays his xbox for hours on end. I like seeing his frustrated face when trying to figure out his next move...quite amusing. Best thing he did for me was when he surprised me, I was ill in bed, he went out for milk and came back with a kindle!
I do all the cleaning, washing, ironing etc we cook together every day which is our romantic 'thing'
We have hundreds of pet names for each other that change daily....