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Do you consciously do anything to make your OH feel appreciated?

(23 Posts)
woowoo2 Mon 05-Sep-11 14:43:05

DP complains we don't appreciate him. He isn't working at the moment, and does all the housework etc etc.

Do you do anything to make your OH feel good/special/appreciated?

If so, what?

Squitten Mon 05-Sep-11 14:52:14

We don't do anything massive but we try to be considerate of each other - say thanks for doing household stuff or organising things, buy each other a beer or some choccies when you know they've had a rough day. Small tokens that show you'be been thinking of each other

venusandmars Mon 05-Sep-11 15:11:29

I think that actions can speak louder than words in showing appreciation. So if dh has tidied, its about NOT coming in and dumping bags in the hall, mail on the kitchen table, newspapers on the living room floor, and generally undoing his hard work in a matter of minutes.

I also try to anticipate his needs, so if he's had a long train journey home from work I make him a cup of tea when he gets in, before I start ranting about my day.

Kayano Mon 05-Sep-11 16:22:36

I reward his efforts annually by buying him the new FIFA games
If he is really good I will also but football manager for him :D

I jest, I tell him every day how much he means to me, don't go to sleep without a kiss first and if he does anything I always comment and say thank you smile

cantmakecarrotcake Mon 05-Sep-11 16:28:24

I think a bit of recognition and a thank you goes a long way.

I hope I manage to make DH feel appreciated. It's all a bit me me me at the moment (looking after baby) and he's fab at supporting me.

motherinferior Mon 05-Sep-11 16:30:11

No, not particularly.

PonceyMcPonce Mon 05-Sep-11 16:32:50

I do try - I always thank him for any meal he cooks, I thank him for putting out the bins. However, if he tells me he has done 'my' laundry, he gets a flick on the ear!

I try to use positive reinforcement, like when you train a dog.

Which reminds me, I must thank him for de-nitting the dds, because I was at the point that i would rather cut off my own hands than do it again. Just out of politeness really, as 50% of the nits are surely his responsibility!

parkgate Mon 05-Sep-11 16:33:15

I always say thank you, even for tiny things. I'm always considerate, like venus says - if he's cleaned don't get home and leave stuff laying about.
Basically by treating him how I want to be treated I think he feels appreciated.

I don't go in for buying gifts to show appreciation really though, not my style.

lemonstartree Mon 05-Sep-11 17:00:16

yes, a lot. I make him tea and say thank you, and ask about his day ( and LISTEN to the answer). And I try to respect his ways of doing things. I think its really important to show appreciation.....

Ormirian Mon 05-Sep-11 17:03:00

Say thanks for things he does, compliment him on how he looks, tell him I am proud of him (I often am for the work he does). Sadly what would make him feel appreciated would be lots of hot sex but as I have the libido of a slug and the energy of a sloth, and we have a 14yr old who doesn't so sleep, that is a bit problematic grin

purplepidjin Mon 05-Sep-11 17:39:12

I make sure he catches me staring appreciatively at his bum (or other area of anatomy) regularly.

Silly jokes where the punch line is "I love you", or trying to catch him by surprise (he knows me too well and usually spots it!)

We always say thank you for meals/housework done

Little bits of affection, like catching hold of a hand or a peck on the cheek.

HPonEverything Mon 05-Sep-11 17:47:45

Little gestures like if I am in Tesco I will buy him a 'treat' even if it's just a particular packet of crisps I know he likes. I make him sound like a dog. We don't really go in for big gestures and presents either, but I find a pork pie goes a lot further than a Rolex ever would.

I send him little romantic texts at work sometimes (not bombarding, just once in a while) but often when he gets home he still hasn't read them, then reads them in front of me which is a bit embarrassing so I should really stop doing it.

wicketkeeper Mon 05-Sep-11 21:51:24

At every opportunity.

SarahBumBarer Tue 06-Sep-11 09:19:58

I'm working on it and know I can focus on the negative rather than the positive which I am trying to change. So last night when I got home from work and the kitchen looked like a sequel to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I dug really deep and instead of commenting on the disaster area focussed really hard on the dozen batches of shepherd's pie and lasagne that he had cooked up to pop in the freezer. I probably found it harder than I should have done but OMG the state of the kitchen!

upahill Tue 06-Sep-11 09:47:06

Yes I do.
A few years ago I got into the habit of taking him for granted and then I realised what a superstar I have and now I do everything I can to make him know how appreciative i am of him.

I also make the boys appreciate him and when he does something good for them (i.e everyday) I make sure the boys know their dad has gone the extra mile for them and to thank him.

This is now coming naturally to them and I don't have to say much if anything thesed days.
The youngest (nearly 12) always rushes to the door to give him a kiss when DH gets in and askes how his (work) day went. Ds1 (15) will ask about work and chat to him.

MangoMonster Tue 06-Sep-11 10:18:42

Yes I do, but probably not enough. Working on it but often get too caught up in other priorities like ds. blush

StickyProblem Tue 06-Sep-11 11:10:52

LOL HPOnEverything my DP is also made very very happy by an unexpected pork pie!

I make sure DP (who is a SAHD) gets enough chances to go out, which I don't particularly want myself after I've been out myself all day. And always say thanks when he's tidied or cooked.

RatherBeACyborg Tue 06-Sep-11 11:17:26

Probably not enough. In my defence we have a 3yr old and a 10 month old so all energy is focussed on them at the moment. Have made a note to try harder. (He appreciates me though).

upahill Tue 06-Sep-11 11:23:45

Having a 3 year old and a 10 month is no excuse for not making your partner feel appreciated.
It takes seconds to put your arm around them and a peck on the cheek to say ' Love you loads' It's not going out of your way to have a special tea night or get a favourite beer or snack in.
And before I sound like a mad Stepford wife, it works both ways. Dh will pick me up a bar of my favourite chocolate or if he goes to town he will get me a pair of earings from my favourite shop.
It's the little things that make life sweet.

create Tue 06-Sep-11 11:28:26

It was our anniversary yesterday and I made him heart shaped chips for tea! Does that count? It was more to amuse the DC really...

No I don't really. I spend a lot of time praising every little thing DCs do, but DH gets short shrift. I must do somehting to change that.

foreveryours Tue 06-Sep-11 11:45:17

I tend to leave little notes saying 'missing you' 'forever yours' etc in his sandwiches that I make him before he heads to work. We always hold eachother when falling asleep...
I'm sure he'd say he lovea the fact I don't moan when he plays his xbox for hours on end. I like seeing his frustrated face when trying to figure out his next move...quite amusing.
Best thing he did for me was when he surprised me, I was ill in bed, he went out for milk and came back with a kindle!

I do all the cleaning, washing, ironing etc we cook together every day which is our romantic 'thing'

We have hundreds of pet names for each other that change daily....

Gosh I'm so in love grin

RedGreenBlue Tue 06-Sep-11 12:54:58

No, fuck all. He's generally just grateful if he gets through the day without getting bollocked off me for some minor breach of household etiquette.

Regards,

RedGreenBlue's wife.

But imo men can (and frankly should) be trained like dogs. That's not disrespectful, it's just that we have a lot of parallels to the canine. You don't have to pick up our shit though.

LadyGrace Tue 06-Sep-11 19:22:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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