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I could be pregnant and I'm getting quite anxious and I need some advice

(18 Posts)
InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:16:29

It's a bit of a silly story. I split with H in June, for keeps, I thought at the time. I arranged to meet up with an old shag buddy flame for a 'date' which was at the beginning of August.

I went on the mini pill a couple of weeks before my date. I intended to try to use condoms but know this guy has willy wilt and suspected he might not manage. Stupid - yes. Very. I'm kicking myself about this, because, yes, we did have some sex without a condom. The day I met him was 4 days after 1st day of period (they last 3 days)

4 days after this I get crippling cystitis and take anti-bios. 5 days after I finish taking the pill, and the following day (6 after) I get a random one day long bleed.

A day after this I cave and sleep with H. No condom. 48 hours later I take MAP. Couple days later more unprotected sex. Why? I don't know. I haven't been thinking straight.

So timeline is -
Day one - period
Day 4 - sex on mini pill w no condom
Day 8 - anti-bios
Day 9 - come off pill
Day 10 - bleed
Day 11 - sex with H
Day 13 - MAP
Day 15 - sex with H

Today is day 28. My cycles are 26-28 days long. So far no sign. POAS yesterday and negative. I know I need to wait and POAS again but I'm starting to freak out. I realise that the pill could have altered ovulation pattern but sex with H was right in the danger zone.

I have hopes that H and I can maybe work things out. A baby would be a bad idea in that respect. And much as I'd jump to have another baby, H would not at this time. However, if I was, and I was sure it was his, I'd keep it, whatever his thoughts were.

BUT there is a chance, if I was, that it would be OM's. (H knows about OM by the way) I know the chance is miniscule but could I take it? Wouldn't it spoil the whole pregnancy? I'd be on the edge of my nerves all the way through. And it would be obvious due to colouring, so even if H decided to commit either way (doubtful) it would be bloody obvious to anyone who knew. And the humiliation if a baby was born and we had to tell people it wasn't his! I just couldn't do it. But then I think....but it would be 99% likely to be H's...

So. I realise I'm not pg until I know I am, and I might not be (fingers crossed) but I kind of need to think things through before they happen, so I'm putting on my hard hat and asking here.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-11 22:36:38

No, OP, if you had risky sex on day 4 (day 1 being the start of your period) there is no way it could be the other man's.

If today is day 28, then your period wouldn't be due until tomorrow, would it?

I just don't understand why you had unprotected sex with your husband the day after taking the MAP.

Would you be happy to have your husband's baby?

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-11 22:37:39

Sorry, just read you wouldn't want a baby.

OK - your risk is of having your husband's baby. If you are pregnant, what will you do? Are you still within the period of having an IUD fitted?

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Sun 04-Sep-11 22:39:29

Your symptoms could be STD related too. Get a pregnancy test obviously, but get a full sexual health screen while you're at it.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:39:58

I'm a twat, mainly. Yes I would be happy if I was pregnant but he wouldn't (right now) which begs the question...why he had unprotected sex with me 2 days after taking the MAP...I took it because he asked me to rather than off my own back.
Period would be due today, I made a mistake it's actually day 29, I always get it on a sunday or sometimes saturday. I usually have spotting the few days leading up to it before as well. Today - nothing at all, apart from some foul mood earlier in the week.

I don't think it could be OM's. But what if it was? Ggaaaaah

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:42:20

I know I need an STI check blush going to the nurse next week. H is going too.

I wouldn't want to be pg now because of the horror of possibly not knowing who the father was, and also because H and I need to have more time to work on our stuff before having another child, if at all. But then the hormonal side of me says that a baby would be lovely and nobody ever regrets a baby. So if I was sure it was his, I'd keep it.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Sun 04-Sep-11 22:43:10

DId you take the pill purely so you could sleep with the other man? And then stop halfway through a packet? I think you need more than contraceptive advice tbh. Why are you allowing your dh to treat you like this and willingly putting yourself at risk of pregnancy and disease? It's madness.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:48:55

H hasn't done anything wrong, apart from be cavalier with condoms, which isn't new behaviour TBH. Yes I took the pill with the plan to sleep with OM, because I knew he has ED with condoms. I realise I have acted stupidly and badly. My thought processes were skewed after the split and I look back and don't really understand it. I am trying to work on myself - cutting right back on alcohol for one thing and trying to work on my decision making skills.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Sun 04-Sep-11 22:51:12

But you are putting their needs above your own. Your dh is being 'cavalier' with condoms. WHat that actually means is that he doesn;t care about the fallout for you if you do get pregnant. Ditto the other man who celaqrly doesn;t give 2 hoots about your health. That's what needs addressing. You need to realise you're better than that.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:52:07

Well yes. I suppose so. Thanks blush

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-11 22:52:30

If you are pregnant then it should show in the morning. I know what I would do - see a doctor and keep away from both the OM and your husband and I would keep off the drink too.

It's really not a good idea to have a baby in this situation, OP.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:54:15

BUT
if I was pg, what are the chances it would be OM's?
Would you take the risk, assuming you would want a baby of H's?

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:55:37

No it's not sad
I'd have to terminate it I guess. My own stupid fault.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-11 22:57:16

InAPickle, most people ovulate bang in the middle of their cycle. I know people say you can ovulate during your period even, but I've never figured that out.

I would say that on day 4 of your cycle that you would be safe. But on day 4, wouldn't you still have your period?

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 22:58:35

It finished on day three. And I should have been covered by the pill. So given the timings and the fact that I was on the pill - pretty much no chance?

babyhammock Sun 04-Sep-11 23:03:29

Very very very unlikely to be OM's and if it was you'd be 4 weeks pregnant so the test would defo have been positive when you took it.

Its probably all the stress that's making you late and the antibiotics can interfere with your cycle too and make you late.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 23:05:51

That's a good point Babyhammock. Thank you. I love MN even if I have to hide in a namechange for stuff like this the advice is so sensible.

InAPicklePossibly Sun 04-Sep-11 23:08:26

K I'm signing off for now, NCing back. But if anyone else wants to comment, be sure I will read it and take it on. Thanks

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