My dp is, quite frankly, an arse. Numerous reasons that I'm only divulging because I may have had a wee bit too much vodka. Here goes.
It started a couple of months ago when he turned me down citing tiredness, then proceeded to go downstairs to play his xbox. Follow this with his non proposal that went something like this...
I was going to propose to you last month but decided I didn't want to.
Since then we've not had sex at all. I try to instigate it, I try to be nice and just pleasure him but every time he rejects me. Tells me he's not in the mood, too tired, hasn't got the time?! We live together, the last one just flummoxes me!
I'm beginning to think its something ive said or done so I tried talking to him. To be met with a sulky teenage strop.
I'm lost. I'm confused. I love this man to bits but I can't live a life of celibacy!
I suppose there might be some excuses for behaviour: crisis of confidence performance wise? Some kind of depression? But if I'm being honest it sounds like he is, as you say, just an arse.
I had an ex who went all cold like that - he was hankering after someone else and was too gutless to end our relationship himself/didn't want to 'get the blame' for ending it, so instead he instigated the relationship equivalent of constructive dismissal.
If I were you I would give him one last chance to explain himself/see if he wants to fix things and then, if he doesn't, ship out.
Whatever you decide though, STOP trying to instigate things. It is too soul destroying.
General Your post could have been written by me about an ex who I wasted 4 years of my life on in my twenties. He would constantly turn me down and sex was always on his terms. Yet when we did have sex it was always fantastic, therefore clearly a control thing. Get out now, this man will destroy your self esteem until one day you find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering why he doesn't want you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My ex also used to play the 'I was going to propose but you ruined it with your bad mood' card. It is a horrifically cruel thing to say to a woman and imo is, on it's own, reason enough for you to get out on this 'relationship'.