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anger at dp and mil

(6 Posts)
early80sgirl Sun 04-Sep-11 14:48:00

this may sound crazy as it happened 13 yrs ago but so many anger issues over it when i was pregnant with dd i went to mil house to pick up keys for our new house that dp had , he had been out the night before (i knew this ) with friends from work and was staying at mil house ( i knew this too ) however when i arrived at mil house about 9 maybe 10 am he hadnt come home all night and she lied to me trying to make out she thought he was in !! utter crap she lives in a 2up 2 down ffs !! he later that day told me hed stayed at a pals for some reason cant remember now , but i just feel so betrayed by them , dp has not got a good track record with me and being honest , hes lied all our time together about ow etc ( just the one ow , which makes it worse some how ) im so scared to move on , he holds all the money , house in his name etc , im nearly 40 and feel i should have left yrs ago im just such a coward , everyone we know thinks we are the perfect couple lol !! i feel my life is one big show

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sun 04-Sep-11 14:53:37

Yes, you should have left years ago, so stop wasting time and do it now.

FredBare Sun 04-Sep-11 16:54:43

you should have left years ago, over this one issue?

how do you know MIL lied, i never know if my sons are in or out and thats the truth - i have often assumed that are in when they arent.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 04-Sep-11 16:57:12

I don't see why your MIL lying 13 years ago is still bothering you. But I would be very, very bothered by DH holding all the financial cards. You need to change that situation is it makes you very vulnerable, as I'm sure you realise. Get a bank account in your name, and start to put money in it. And make sure the house is in your name too.

Or leave.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Sep-11 16:58:06

You say he's been seeing another woman. How long did he see her for? Is he still seeing her?

I can understand you being so upset. Do you think he told his mother to say he'd spent the night there, or do you think she just knew what he was like and was covering for him? Neither inspire any confidence in him.

lazarusb Sun 04-Sep-11 17:27:16

Your problem isn't your MIL, it's him. He's cheated on you before, lied to you and has financial control over you. Take steps to leave (or get him to leave). You aren't happy. How much longer will you live like this?

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