Just posted the same thing a minute ago but with the subject title "testingmynamechange" so I figured no one would open it as it looks like someone just testing their name change!
Thursday me and DP were walking along the promenade in our town and went to get chips. DP ended up getting a really expensive and small portion of chips which he was quite grumpy about. I tried teasing him about to lighten the mood and he kicked me (not hard) in the ankle! I was gobsmacked and gave him a look to say "are you joking?" he replied that he wasn't and then later that he wasn't going to apologize and i could break up with him if i wanted.
We walked along pretty much in silence for a bit and then sat on the beach where he said "Oh god, I'm so sorry I just meant to give you a gentle nudge and I accidentally kicked too hard - so said all that stuff afterwards to punish my self (This is something DP tends to do, say stuff he doesn't really mean in order to make ppl annoyed at him and punish himself.)
Okay, so I believed him and we made up and I just said "next time you accidentally nudge someone just say oops I did that too hard - sorry! Instead of going all weird about it."
Cut forward to today, we were chatting on the phone on his commute to work (we don't live together) and I said something like "promise me you didn't mean to kick me on Thurs." He said "no, I didn't of course not I just meant it as a joke and I kicked too hard!" So we talked about it for a bit then he hung up as he was getting on the tube.
5 mins later, he rings up and says "actually sorry X, I think I did mean it on Thurs- you can break up with me if you like. I have to go into work now but I'll call you later." I said I loved him and didn't want to break up with him. Then we said bye as he was starting work.
Right so what should I do? Break up with him immediately or forgive this as an out of character really twatty thing to do and tell him never to do anything like that again.
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Relationships
DP kicked me!
NameChangeTaken · 03/09/2011 13:20
Adding my messages from the other thread:
Let me get this straight:
- he kicks you during his moody,
- doesn't apologise
- says he acts even stroppier when called out on bad behaviour to punish himself
(How does that work, eh
? he wants to make people even more upset? Isn't that punishing them as much/more than himself?)- he plays mind games, you're trying to guess what he's thinking all the time
- he's putting the onus on you to either put up with his shit or break up, so if you stick it out, he can say "you knew what I was like" and dismiss you.
It's not out of character btw, because you say: "(This is something DP tends to do, say stuff he doesn't really mean in order to make ppl annoyed at him and punish himself.)"
I wouldn't be sure it's not stuff he doesn't mean, it's really bad behaviour of his that he doesn't like being called on and pretends he doesn't mean afterwards.
Plus, isn?t it great that he can basically threaten to behave worse and worse if challenged on anything? So if you were to stay & ever argued with him, you know he?d be prepared to hurt you and be nastier and nastier, and it?ll all be because he?s punishing himself! Fuck your bruises, what about his ?pain??
Dump that asshole.
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