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counselling can it bring love back that no longer there

(5 Posts)
1over Fri 02-Sep-11 21:26:56

I have badgered DH for counselling after a somewhat tumultous time due to his addiction to weed and moodswings. He has now finally agreed to it having supposedly given up weed and controlling his moods.... Anyway I will go along with this for sake of having three DC but the idea of ending this relationship is far more tempting than saving it. I just do not love him anymore and do not want to be subject to his blame his whinging and his guilt trips. Can counselling rectify this cos I dont think i want it rectified i want out. AND THAT MAKES ME THE BADDIE in all of this

buzzsorekillington Fri 02-Sep-11 21:41:07

Counselling can also help ease a split. If you're sure that you want to end it, use the counselling sessions to explain how your feelings for him have died and there's no going back. You're not the baddie, it's his behaviour that went on too far and too long and killed your love for him.

It might even turn out to be useful to have an independent party (the counsellor) there when you discuss how to split amicably. Just make sure you know your own mind and stick to your guns. And don't worry too much about who is the one to finally call it day.

1over Fri 02-Sep-11 21:45:45

Thank you - I can now take on the counselling without feeling like a total fraud amongst other things

MaMattoo Sat 03-Sep-11 01:09:11

I asked this question 8 years ago. Went for counselling and came back with the answer - no, you can't restart live once it's gone. Sorry.

solidgoldbrass Sat 03-Sep-11 10:44:03

Well first of all it is not at all surprising, nor does it make you a bad person, that you have lost all feelings of love for a drug-addled arsehole.
Counselling is certainly helpful in negotiating an amicable split, though if your H is abusive the counsellor (unless completely crap) will refuse to counsel you as a couple and will advise you to seek counselling on your own.

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