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Now he's JOINED a bloody porn site???!!

(29 Posts)
BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 17:57:56

Only days ago dp and I had a conversation about his use of porn and how it could be effecting his "performance" in real life sex (he has trouble maintaining an erection). He said himself he over-uses porn and must stop. His exact words were "you're completely right, I need to stop using porn and concentrate on real life."

Imagine my suprise then when I go to check my emails just now and DP's account is still logged in and there in his deleted messages (yes I looked, I was curious) was a confirmation of membership to "CamFuze" which upon further inspection is a hardcore porn site which encourages users to upload their own videos as well as watch other people's. He joined TODAY and has already confirmed membership etc

WTF?? should I be annoyed?? I mean the free porn sites were bad enough but to actually JOIN a webcam site!? especially after the conversation we had?!

Or am I over-reacting??

LaurieFairyCake Thu 01-Sep-11 18:00:42

LOL at you 'over-reacting' - you are most definitely NOT - however, it's clear your husband is just talking the talk and doesn't actually agree with you enough to change his behaviour and stop.

It's up to you what you do now.

BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 18:04:02

Oh I've had enough to be honest. It's like talking to a brick wall.

"Are you on a dating site?"
"No"
"honestly?"
"no"
"so, mrliar23 isn't you then? cos the picture looks just like you!"
"no"
"??? you have a twin??"
"oh that! oh I did that for a laugh!" hmm

"are you still using porn?"
"no"
"you sure?"
"yep"
"so you never joined camfuze on the 1st september at 11.49 then?"
"umm no"
"wtf??"
"oh that! I was just testing my email address" (ok we havn't had this one yet but it honestly wouldn't suprise me).

Ive just had enough. How can you trust someone who LIES.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 01-Sep-11 18:06:07

You can't. It's that simple. He just doesn't respect you enough to tell the truth, or he thinks his need to lie is more important than you to trust him, or he was brought up to think lying is ok and is unable to break the habit.

Stop trusting him. Maybe seek joint therapy?

BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 18:10:40

It's been going on years. If he's not lying about one thing, he's lying about another. Such stupid things too:

"did you cancel Sky Movies?"
"yes"
"oh good, so next month's bill will be £16 cheaper".
"yes"

a week later ....

"we better watch all these movies on planner!"
"why?"
"before sky movies runs out!"
"eh? oh!! umm yeah"
"you DID cancel them, right?"
"ahem, err yeah"

a few days later

"oh look, so and so starts on Sky Movies in 3 weeks!"
"oh great! nice one!"
"umm yeah but they will have ran out by then"
"ran out??"
"yeah - from when you cancelled them"
"oh! erm, yeah they will"

so in other words he never did cancel them and on the day they're supposed to go off he'll go into "actor" mode and make a song and dance out of sky never getting anything right and will pretend to ring them and make a complaint.

It gets bloody tiring to be honest.

cheesesarnie Thu 01-Sep-11 18:12:31

you really are not over reacting!!!!what a twunt

GypsyMoth Thu 01-Sep-11 18:18:08

Why are you with him? Life is too short for this crap, he won't stop using porn..... He's getting more 'interactive'

AnyFucker Thu 01-Sep-11 19:01:51

So are you staying with this fuckwit then, or not ?

Venting on here ain't gonna cut the mustard, sorry

Get shut of him, or carry on like this indefinitely

He thinks you are a mug

Don't be one

HairyGrotter Thu 01-Sep-11 19:02:40

What a loopy fella, you'll be well shot of that one. Lies lies and more lies...helllllll no.

AnyFucker Thu 01-Sep-11 19:02:53

oh, and make a visit to the STD clinic for your own piece of mind

a bloke like this would quite happily fuck up your fallopian tubes for a cheap thrill

GreatNorksOfFire Thu 01-Sep-11 19:13:50

This man is not just 'using porn' though is he? He's joined a fee paying site offering interactive exchanges of porn. I guess from your second message he's also joined at least one 'dating site'. What's the betting that's not some 'nice' dating site like mysinglefriend, probably more like benaughty or something where members seek one another out based on their sexual preferences.

You don't sound happy. You have caught him out in a lie again. All of those lies leading to total distrust would wear me down tbh. Life really is too short for that sort of crap.

He's your 'D'P - what's your relationship? Do you have DC together? Do you live together? If he's making you this unhappy (and I am not surprised given his actions), then it is probably time to wave goodbye to this particular relationship.

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Thu 01-Sep-11 19:21:23

It's not the porn, although that's bad enough, it's the lying. How can you trust a man who constantly blatantly lies to your face?

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 01-Sep-11 19:23:28

"It's been going on years."

Which means that you ave been accepting it for years. Why accept this?

gillybean2 Thu 01-Sep-11 19:30:33

If he can lie about stupid unimportant things as well as big things... And continues to lie even when caught out... He won't change IME.

When the trust is gone it is extremly hard to get it back. I don't think you can ever really get it back and will always doubt. You doubt him now and don't trust him which is why you check his deleted emails isn't it?

He won't change. So the real question is what are you going to do...?

travellingwilbury Thu 01-Sep-11 19:34:00

He is nodding and smiling at you and just carrying on doing what the buggery he likes .

Why are you putting up with someone who doesn't respect you ?

BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 20:12:38

He's joined a dating site

Joined a porn share site (only time will tell if he intends on using it as such).

This morning we had this conversation.

him - "so, I hear (exwife) is leaving her boyfriend)
me - "oh"
him - "yeah, bet she's got a flat somewhere"
me - "umm"
him - "she'll be wanting someone to help her move I bet"
me - "yep well she has plenty of family etc"
him - "yeah, hey I have an idea! maybe I should help her and charge for it!"
me - "err why would YOU even be involved in your EXwife leaving HER current partner??"
him - "I'm not, was just saying. I never would though, god no way!"

roughly translated - "I'm going to help my ex wife move into her own place away from her current boyfriend but am assuming I shouldn't tell you about it after testing the water just now so I'll be doing a lot of "shopping" that day."

By the way, this conversation took place in a hospital waiting room whilst I was awaiting a scan on my "Poorly" ovaries.

Doha Thu 01-Sep-11 20:15:57

just remind us and yourself OP exactly why you are still with this knob head?

BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 20:18:04

Because I'm a gullible idiot.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 01-Sep-11 20:18:41

Please tell me you're not considering conceiving to this waste of space? If you have no children binding you to this man and I use the word in its loosest possible sense would it not make far more sense to use your poorly ovaries with a man worthy of the title?

AnyFucker Thu 01-Sep-11 20:18:58

stop sharing your stupid conversations with this fuckwit

we know now he is a fuckwit...the sooner you get shut of him, the better

how long have you been putting up with this shit together ?

cupcake78 Thu 01-Sep-11 20:19:17

He sounds like a real charmer! I think your gut knows the answer to this one or you wouldn't be asking! Life is to short

AnyFucker Thu 01-Sep-11 20:19:44

what exactly is wrong with your ovaries ?

BeautifulRen Thu 01-Sep-11 20:21:34

I'm not sure AF, I had an ultrasound scan today but the nurse didn't give much away. It's suspected cysts.

travellingwilbury Thu 01-Sep-11 20:23:45

I suspect your ovaries are just avoiding his sperm .

AnyFucker Thu 01-Sep-11 20:37:23

OP, are you planning on having these ridiculous conversations with this fuckwit for much longer ?

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