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don't want to go to bed in our bed

(17 Posts)
bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:38:39

if that makes sense .? i've always been a bit of a night owl , dp on the other hand sleeps v early - 9 pm isn't unusual for him .

last couple of nights i haven't slept great when i go to bed .it's not the going to sleep thats hard it's the fact he's in the bed. i just don't know if i can face going to bed and not sleeping for hours cause he hogs the bed/ smothers me with almost rolling on top of me .

think i'm just ranting but maybe it just helps to get it out !

heleninahandcart Wed 31-Aug-11 01:42:29

OP I can almost feel your pain from here! No other suggestion than to get one of those 6 ft wide beds that do enable you to co sleep in peace. Worked for friends of mine.

Of course this is assuming its just about the sleeping and not anything else to do with your relationship with DP?

caramelwaffle Wed 31-Aug-11 01:46:17

I second getting an extra large bed.

Or two large singles in the bedroom (god - how 50's do I sound?)

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:47:13

without drip-feeding i honestly don't know! i think maybe i feel that it's selfish on his part , that he thinks my sleep isn't important etc and that this makes me resent him during the day etc

getting grumpy now !!

Thumbwitch Wed 31-Aug-11 01:48:42

I completely understand. I don't like sharing with my DH either and generally haven't for the last 4y, first because of hip pain in pg, then because of co-sleeping with DS, then because we actually sleep better apart and now because of still co-sleeping with DS again and only having 2 bedrooms now - if we had 3, I'd have my own again by now.

DH snores sometimes (not the biggest issue) but he has "episodes" - nightmare type things that continue into sleepwalking for a short while. These are pretty scary! The other thing is he tends to burrow into the bed clothes and drag them around him, so it's hard to keep hold of them! And the main bedroom is at the front of the house with the road and railway just outside (railway has night coal and goods trains on it, so it's never completely quiet).

DH is also an early one (9pm most nights) and I am late too and like to read in bed, so that's another ishoo.

Rant away! grin

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:48:54

oh two singles ! or two small doubles sounds smile sounds like heaven . i loved to spread out to sleep but if i do that in our bed atm its like an open invitation to him to put his arms and legs everywhere !

heleninahandcart Wed 31-Aug-11 01:49:04

Also nothing will get you wound up as much as a DP who can sleep instantly after waking/annoying/upsetting you...

Thumbwitch Wed 31-Aug-11 01:51:38

If you have no choice but to share with him, then icecold feet in sensitive areas and a well-placed elbow seem to curb the excessive bed-hogging, IME grin

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:51:56

he does the quilt thing too! except when i go into the room i just know he'll be wrapped up in completely which means i'll have to pulled it out and straighten it before getting in sad

ive been know to get up in the middle of the night to straighten it so him being wrapped up is v annoying

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:53:05

yes to the sleeping straight away after !! grrrrrrr!

ZacharyQuack Wed 31-Aug-11 01:56:16

In the short term, get a second quilt so you can get one each.

In the medium term, get a bigger bed (but keep the current one somewhere for the long term solution)

In the long term, organise a spare room, put your current bed in it and present him with the "man cave" grin

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 01:58:32

mmm if i put the ps3 in there too it'll solve all my problems smile going to attempt sleep shortly . i shall report as to the extent of the quilt hogging

Hedgerow7 Wed 31-Aug-11 03:03:22

bubble I was in the same boat as you but all is well now.

We bought a huge bed which has two single mattresses zipped together so you don't roll into each other at all.

the mattressses are 3 foot wide adn quite firm.
Also, just have a single duvet each. How anyone culd possiblly share a duvet is beyond me. Awful. Have one each adn you have no worries.

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 19:29:45

well i slept much better last night . think the grumpiness was down to not sleeping properly !

notlettingthefearshow Wed 31-Aug-11 19:37:35

I'm a light sleeper and struggling to sleep with DH in pregnancy, when I am tossing and turning even more than normal. However, he does't move - still as a corpse - so he just has to stay as far away as possible on his side and we can manage. I do envy couples who love sleeping curled up together. I can't bear DH to even breathe on me!

Super king is the way forward!

schroeder Wed 31-Aug-11 19:46:08

I dream about having my own bed.

Currently plotting getting some sort of sofa bed for the living room. Dh is all shock as if I was considering leaving or something.

I just feel so aware that he's there, he does not sleep very well, so sometimes I can sort of tell that he's awake iykwim.

Not to mention the snoring and the sleeping boomerang style with his arse over on my side!

bubbleschimp Wed 31-Aug-11 22:03:15

the breathing !! good god the breathing wrecks my head!

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