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Not sure where to put this...will this broodiness ever go away?

(11 Posts)
Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 12:05:31

I have 2 dc, age 3 and 1.5. Dd was 9lb 15 and ds was 10lb 6. I have had a posterior prolapse after both, separated tummy muscles on oth and still have bad back trouble since ds..

However, I am desperately broody. Desperate
Y. It hurts. I want another baby. But I'm so so scared. I don't want to end up incontinent or worse. I went 8 days over on ds and induced myself in the end. Even though he was measuring off the chart all through pregnancy they wouldn't induce early or do a growth scan or anything.

I am a sahm. I have (today) signed up for an evening class, and am going to have a look at local uni open day soon. I am trying to distract myself and create another focus IYSWIM..

Has anyone else felt like this and will ot ever go away? Without having another baby that is.. Or should I just go for it?

Help me please

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 12:22:19

Anyone?

buzzsorekillington Tue 30-Aug-11 12:33:39

Yes, you can probably ride this out. I've been broody for another baby, but after a while the want went away.

I think you're doing the right things by trying to get another focus, given that another baby might not be the best thing for your health.

Why not give it some more time, concentrate on your class etc and see if the intensity of the urge drops? It's relatively soon after your second child and could be a hormonal response. The longer you give your body to recover, the better I'd have thought.

kaluki Tue 30-Aug-11 12:48:46

I am so broody too. I'm 41, have 2 beautiful dc from a previous relationship and would love to have at least one baby with my DP, he is an amazing Dad and it would make things perfect.
I can't because he had a vasectomy before we met, I'm too old really, we couldn't afford it anyway, I am doing well in my job, love the freedom now my dc are older, we already have 4 dc between us ... etc etc but that urge will not go away.
I don't think it ever will tbh
sad

PeepToes Tue 30-Aug-11 12:50:17

Hi fish

I was exactly like you - and went on to have no 3.

I thought having 3 would be a doodle (in terms of looking after them) but it was quite stressful, although little babies are very transportable.

Reading between the lines your main concern is your health - you did have 2 large for date babies - was there any reason for this eg gestational diabetes?
The other concerns you have wouldn't be a medical reason not to have any more, but there is no doubt having a 3rd would definitely put a strain on your pelvic floor, and it is likely your prolapse would get worse whilst you were pregnant, and the the trauma of labour wouldn't help (unless you have a section, of course).

The other consideration might be how it would change your quality of life, in terms of time for you (you won't have any with 3 small children!) and any strain on your relationship (mine broke down, but that's another story!).

But despite all these things, and similar health concerns as you, I had a 3rd and have never, ever regretted it as he is the most delightful baby ever!

Good luck whatever you decide! x

Quodlibet Tue 30-Aug-11 12:51:05

Sorry you feel like this OP, and that you've had such horrid experiences with your births.
The way you've structured your post, it seems like you want to have another child to end the broodiness, which you find difficult to live with. I've got sympathy with you (been broody myself for v long time, long story but waiting for circumstances to be right before conceiving). However a couple of things I've realised;

- Having another baby isn't the only solution to broodiness. Lots of women who can't, for whatever reason, have a child when they experience broodiness manage to find a way to cope with the feeling while it lasts.
- And broodiness isn't the best reason to have another/any child. Sometimes, for lots of reasons, it's better not to let family-size decisions be led by hormonal feelings!

Surely whilst broodiness hurts emotionally it probably hurts less than long-term physical damage you are worried you could sustain?
Buzzsore's suggestions are good - give it some time, and see what happens when you pour your energy into another focus.

I'd love to hear other people's broodiness-minimisation techniques - I reckon, like the cure for the common cold, whoever cracked that could become a millionaire very quickly.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 14:14:04

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I'm going to re-read all the posts tonight when I can actually think about what you are saying, it's bedlam here at the moment!

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 19:08:32

Pm bump

Arrogantcat Tue 30-Aug-11 20:01:40

You can't always have what you want. Be grateful for the 2 (very young) children you have and move on is my advice.
I say this as an "older mother" who would've knocked another kid out had age, money and space not been an issue.

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 20:21:53

But arrogantcat technically I can have what I want, which is what is making it so hard. But thanks for your kind words and understanding..

Fisharefriendsnotfood Tue 30-Aug-11 20:25:40

I was checked for gestational diabities when pg on ds but test was negative. Yes, my main concerns are my health mainly my quality of life if prolapse gets worse. I want to be a mum to the two I have, a wife and a person iykwim..

I know it doesnt really make sense to go again. I just wish this feeling would ease or go away. It really is very bad.

Thanks for all replies, it helps to know others have been/are there.

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