Last June/July I was rushed into hospital with appendicitis. My parents at that time were 'in a huff' with me as I had upset the golden child (my brother).
I had asked him to leave my house as he was kicking off and basically being a twat, verbally abusing me and getting very close to looking like he was going to lamp me one (all over asking him not to wind my DD1 up) my dad was their and witnessed it but as usual stayed quiet for an easy life.
DH was home and he was the one who rang for the ambulance as I was on the floor in agony, could barely breath.
DH had rang MIL to come and sit with the DD's so he could come with me but she was at work and had no phone signal and we didn't (at the time) know her works number.
So reluctantly he rang my parents who basically couldn't give a flying shit about helping us in my hour of need.
I ended up in hospital on my own, in agony (they took my gas and air away after I was out of the ambulance) I was so scared that I would die and would leave my girls to grow up without a mum (even thinking about it now is making me cry)
In our local hospital they have those bedside TV/Phone things. A lovely gentleman who was visiting another patient set mine up for me as I was in no fit state.
In the meantime my mum had phoned DH and had a go at him about me. She then phoned the hospital (switchboard) and got through to me (can say the name of the patient and it will connect you) She had a go at me, this is all about 10 minutes before I was due to surgery. I was still in agony, in fear of never seeing my girls again and had mum on the phone shouting at me for upsetting my brother and for upsetting her. One sentence she said has stayed with me 'Do you know how upsetting it is for me to have a child in hospital, why do you do this to me'
When I got off the phone the elderly lady in the bed opposite me came over to my bed and said she wouldn't ask how I was as she didn't want to upset me even more than I obviously was, but she gave me a hug. then the porter and nurse came to take me to theatre.
Unbeknownst to me mum rang my DH after that and had a go at him, he actually had to put the phone down on her as he would not have been able to stop himself from telling her to fuck off.
Now the odd thing, my mum is lovely when my brother isn't about, I do love her, my DD's love her. She is just an inherently selfish person and EVERYTHING has to be about her or my brother.
I don't think I will ever be able to fully forgive my mum but I need to deal with this and 'put it to bed' so that I can move on and have a normal'ish relationship with my mum.
I have next to nothing to do with my brother as it is, and once my parents are no longer here I doubt very much I will ever see him again. I want to be able to maintain some sort of relationship with my parents as they are not really bad people, they have been worn down by my brother. Not an excuse but that is the reason (I think anyway)
Sorry for the hugeeee post and thank you if you have managed to get this far.
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Relationships
I am wondering if you lovely ladies could help me 'put something to bed' WRT my parents, please.
2littlegreenmonkeys · 30/08/2011 09:48
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