Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Acceptable amount of maintenance?

(11 Posts)
MetalSian Tue 30-Aug-11 08:37:09

My now ex-P works a 40 hour week, and earns minimum wage whilst doing qualifications.
He has told me he will pay whatever I ask and to just tell him.
This is his way of saying he is having no input whatsoever.

I have no idea what an acceptable amount is.
I don't have much income and will be a student in September but I know that me and DS can survive. (I'm used to doing that ;P).
I have checked the CSA calculator and it says around £25 a week.
Would rather do it on our own though.

I suppose I am struggling as he never helped financially when he was here, so the thought of actually get money from him seems alien.
So what is an okay amount for maintenance?

InTheArmyNow Tue 30-Aug-11 08:53:29

If this is what the CSA calculator, I would be happy with it. This calculator isn't know to be very generous or asking too much from the NRP.

Also remember, this money is money for your child not you and it seems fair he is helping his son to have what he needs (food, clothes, leisure etc...)

Why does it feel so wrong to you to ask for that?

Meglet Tue 30-Aug-11 09:00:38

I thought the csa calculator gave something like 15% of a salary for one child?

prh47bridge Tue 30-Aug-11 09:21:30

Meglet - There is a reduced rate if the non-resident parent earns less than £200 per week after tax, NI and pension contributions have been deducted. It is then £5 plus 25% of any weekly income over £100 if there is only one child involved. So a parent earning £140 a would pay £15 per week.

Secondwife Tue 30-Aug-11 15:29:15

Even if you do not want or need the money, get your ex to give it to you and place it in a savings account so you have an emergency fund just in case.

If you do not use it then your child will have some savings to get them started in life...

FabbyChic Tue 30-Aug-11 18:22:22

Remember you becoming a student is not his problem, he only supports the child and not entirely, the chlid costs you money to. The non resident parent does not pay for everything you basically go half each i.e food/clothes, essentials.

susiedaisy Tue 30-Aug-11 19:22:44

I think it's 15% of a man net pay ( take hone) for one child, 20% for two children and 25% for three or more children I have two kids and my ex has to pay 20% of his net pay in CM to me every month.

planetpotty Tue 30-Aug-11 19:30:02

I would def say (with experience) use the CSA calc to give you the figure but then dont use them just have a private agreement of that figure.

You may feel now you dont want the money...but that will probably change in time and its a lot easier if this has been done from day one rather than try and bring things in later especially if things turn sour.

Just food for thought - its my DH who pays maint by the way not me who recieves it smile

LineRunner Tue 30-Aug-11 19:36:57

Please take the money for your child. Use it to buy clothes, school uniform, put it towards school trips, or save it for when these things are particularly difficult to afford one year.

What will you do when your child is, say, 13 and wants to go on a school trip to Normandy for £350, or is 14 and needs a new laptop for school for £500? Wouldn't it be nice to know that his dad had paid towards it, and the money was waiting in a bank account? It's a little bit of security and your DS and his father will benefit from seeing these positive things. smile

When your DS is old enough, you could even open an account for him - Nat West do them from age 11 - and have the money paid direct into that as an allowance for your DS, for clothes and books, say. Then you all know the money's being spent wisely.

If you do need it to pay for fuel bills, though, over the winter, then that's your right, too. This is money that comes to you in order to help bring up your child, and that includes heating a home and paying for hot water and a cooker.

MetalSian Tue 30-Aug-11 20:03:13

Thanks all =].

Fabby I don't believe I said my becoming a student would be his problem.
Obviously maintainence is for supporting DS.
I was just trying to show that we could manage without it.

I will arrange money with him and save it for DS until he needs it, and such like.
Appreciate all of your help.

LineRunner Tue 30-Aug-11 22:52:13

OP, That's a good plan. Good luck.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now