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help I hate my stepdad but it is wed anniversary soon

(14 Posts)
upsetandpissedoff Mon 29-Aug-11 21:02:41

I know some of you might think I am BU but arrgggghh

My mum is to 'celebrate' her 6th wedding anniversary soon to a man I HATE, he is rude, selfish, opinionated and tbh a tosser. He makes my skin crawl, I can't even look at him and definitely can't make eye contact. He is mean to my mum, treats her like a slave and wants everything is own way, I think she would be much happier without him- and at times she has hinted as much.

So my dilemma is that Mum would be upset if I didn't get them an anniversary card, so I'm sucking it up and will get one (through gritted teeth) but I don't want to write... congratulations... here's to many more etc
as I really don't mean it.

I am staying at theirs for a weeks holiday (forgot it co-insided with their anniversary) so I have to face him tomorrow.

I'm hiding in the bedroom atm,, ffs I'm 35!!

What can I write in the card?
PLease be gentle with me as he does upset me and really pisses me off!

puzzlesum Mon 29-Aug-11 21:05:57

"With best wishes on your anniversary"?

You don't have to mention what your best wish for him actually is, namely that he buggers off and leaves your mum.

HerHissyness Mon 29-Aug-11 21:10:55

"Happy 6th Wedding Anniversary...

What's next? The 7 year Itch????"

[not entirely joking] [not entirely helpful]

upsetandpissedoff Mon 29-Aug-11 21:20:20

thanks... and thanks for not telling me to 'get a grip'!

Gay40 Mon 29-Aug-11 22:46:30

Get one of those "Sorry" cards and add " hear you're still together."

Gay40 Mon 29-Aug-11 22:47:19

A Good Luck card - to your mum only?

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 29-Aug-11 23:07:37

They've got some great jokey ones on moonpig.

ManicPanic Mon 29-Aug-11 23:32:14

I would be tempted to put something in a card along the lines of:

"I am so glad that you have someone to love you for the lovely woman that you are Mum, someone who respects you and treats you so well"

He may get the hint.

Not sure I could keep my mouth shut if he was treating her badly - he has to know that someone thinks it's unnaceptable.

HerHissyness Tue 30-Aug-11 00:28:57

I see your Moonpig....

and I raise you Dean Morris.... like this one.... chortle

HerHissyness Tue 30-Aug-11 00:30:11

aawwww, this one is sold out grin

AKissIsNotAContract Tue 30-Aug-11 07:34:25

Those are brilliant Hissy.

flimflammery Tue 30-Aug-11 07:37:55

Does your mum know you don't like him? Maybe she's desperate for someone to confide in about how badly he treats her? Or not...

upsetandpissedoff Wed 31-Aug-11 16:47:09

Thank you everyone, I went for puzzlesum's suggestion.

Yes she does know how I feel, (sometimes it is pretty bloody obvious!)
tbh he can't stand me either so quite a hostile atmosphere at times!

Mum feels like she is 'taking sides' although I have never told her the full extent of how I feel as it would upset her so much. sad I just want to scream at him but manage to keep it in.

hey ho onwards and upwards!!

puzzlesum Wed 31-Aug-11 21:54:54

Well, I think we're all hoping that your mum is happier soon, one way or another.

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