Herhissyness Every hour I keep expecting it to come over me. To suddenly expect to miss him so much that I cant cope. I am literally taking every hour one at a time. I have MN on my Iphone just in case lol. I know that because I have gotten back in touch with some friends he would hate that there is no going back even if i wanted to....Ive made it impossible just in case he contacts me.
Going back would mean even more suspision over what im up to and more lies on my part. I cant go back.
Ive been lying here thinking if i miss him, I think that he gave me such a hard time over the last few months that I cant say that i do.
Im glad I havent heard the words whore, c*nt, or anything else like that for four days lol I cried every day (yep every day - it sounds like im exagerating as i write this)
I was very scared of more change, of making that leap in case i didnt like it but I do.
I am also being realistic as i said before, I am preparing for the saddness. On tuesday I am going to call my doctor and ask for any courses in my area on DV and I am waiting for Lundy's book to come. I need to understand a bit more and be able to accept my situation was abuse. That will really seal the deal about not going back.
Need to go to docs about my eye too, i think I will need an x-ray. The bruise has nearly gone now but there is a rock hard lump on my cheekbone, Its worrying me as I cant touch it. Has anyone else had this, is it normal? It is like a perfectly round ball on my cheekbone under the skin.
this turned out to be a bit longer than expected, sorry guys lol xxx
I fell over on my face years ago and had a round lump under the skin, it turned out to be a haematoma, like a solid bruise. It was right on the cheekbone. I'd suggest getting it checked out, just to be on the safe side.
Hang in there lady, and keep coming back if you need us. You're doing great.