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To need your advice- does he like me?

(31 Posts)
NearlySpring Sun 28-Aug-11 18:04:04

Sorry for the 14 yr old sounding title but Im all silly and excited and so unsure as what to do next. I'm rubbish at reading the "signs". Be honest and give me some advice please.

Briefly. Man (let's call him James) and I were good friends as teenagers. We spent lots of time together and has shared a kiss but grew apart as we both left school, started work and met other people.

Fast forward 12 years and we got in touch on Facebook (groan, I know). We'd been trying to arrange a night to meet up and finally did about 3 weeks ago. We went out, ate and drank and had a lovely time. He invited me
back to his (he lives near me now he's moved back into the area) and I accepted. He's always been the perfect gentleman, he's sweet kind and honest and I know he genuinely invited me back for more time together rather than for sex. We chatted and laughed and drank all night. By then we were sat real close on the sofa and shared a hug, then a kiss. Not just a drunk snog but we sat there kissing for well over an hour. The sweet kisses where you touch each others face and stroke your hands through their hair. (Sorry tmi with the soppyness, but it's important for the picture). He said to me "where have you been all this time?" melt Then I had to leave. We were drunk but not ridiculously drunk. He made no other advances on me, which leads me to further believe he didn't just want a cheap one night stand as he didn't try for it.

He text me once I was home (sunrise by now) and said he'd had a fantastic night. Since then we have text each other every day. Usually a few texts each way. Just general chatting and talking about our plans, work, social life etc. I mentioned what happened the other night and he said "it was lovely" and "perhaps it made up for all that lost time" and later "the kisses we shared were lovely, but you've just come out of a relationship so not sure if we can go down this road" what's that supposed to mean?!?

He's still texting me and initiated conversations (I made sure Ive checked that he's not just being polite and responding to me but that he really is chatting out of his own choice) we've arranged to meet up again in a few days time. We have a mutual interest which I won't name as it may out me but we met there this afternoon and had chance to chat. he came right up to me with a kiss (cheek) and a hug and we stood and had a chat for a while. He seems very smiley and what I was describe as flirty but perhaps he is just a very sweet man.

I can't remember the last time I felt all fuzzy like this about someone and I need to get a grip don't I smile

So, should I tell him how I feel? I don't want to ruin our newfound friendship if he doesn't feel the same. I guess I should not mention anything for now and wait and see what happens when we meet again next week.

Eeeeeeeeek! smile

DancesWithWolefCubs Sun 28-Aug-11 18:06:01

Yes. He likes you. A lot. grin

<goes all mushy and misty eyed>

OracleInaCoracle Sun 28-Aug-11 18:07:23

Yabu. This belongs in relationships or chat. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

OracleInaCoracle Sun 28-Aug-11 18:07:24

Yabu. This belongs in relationships or chat. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

gillybean2 Sun 28-Aug-11 18:08:19

He likes you but I think he is wary enough to think/realise you are possibly on the rebound and he doesn't want to mess it up by going to fast. Or he worries that he may be on the rebound a little still. Either way he likes you yes

lenak Sun 28-Aug-11 18:09:40

Sounds promising.

"the kisses we shared were lovely, but you've just come out of a relationship so not sure if we can go down this road"

Sounds like he doesn't want to get too serious until he can be sure you are not on the rebound - which would suggest he doesn't want to get hurt and therefore really likes you.

<am a romantic at heart>

NearlySpring Sun 28-Aug-11 18:09:40

Aaaaah! Sorry, was supposed to be In relationships- MNHQ please
can you move it for me?

OracleInaCoracle Sun 28-Aug-11 18:12:18

You can report your op and ask them to move it. But yes, I think he likes you grin

OracleInaCoracle Sun 28-Aug-11 18:12:19

You can report your op and ask them to move it. But yes, I think he likes you grin

brodanbell Sun 28-Aug-11 18:13:56

"the kisses we shared were lovely, but you've just come out of a relationship so not sure if we can go down this road" what's that supposed to mean?!?

agree with others - sounds like he is trying to probe for more info from you as to where you are at? I think he's looking for some clarification - sounds like he does really like you but perhaps just wants to keep things light at the moment until he knows where your mind is regarding your recent split. Otherwise all sounds good - just have a chat face to face, preferably somewhere private and not over text about how you feel. Doesn't have to be deadly serious, just be honest.

NearlySpring Sun 28-Aug-11 18:27:31

I'm soooooo excited smile

lazarusb Sun 28-Aug-11 19:31:48

I experienced this once. The silly, teenage rush. The being wary because (I was still in) a relationship - don't judge me btw, it was abusive. He was very gentlemanly and kept his distance until he was sure that was what I wanted.

We've been together 16 years now grin He likes you, he sounds sensible and kind - enjoy! smile

FagAshLill Sun 28-Aug-11 19:54:46

Hate to be the one to say this but please be careful.

I had all this and it turned out it was the chase he was after and not me after all.

The whole sloppy, bit with the kissing and face touching and "Where have you been all this time?" bought tears to my eyes as I know exactly how you felt as he did the same with me. It still hurts now.

Just please, please be careful. I hope it works out for you, I really, really do and that I'm wrong.

NearlySpring Sun 28-Aug-11 20:29:35

Thanks fagashlil I'll remember your story and be wary.

I think he is a little hesistant too. I have only split from my ex a few months ago and he knows how unhappy I have been over the last year with exdp as he's been a good sympathetic ear for me for the last few months of our reltionship (we were in contact on facebook way before we met up again, however I didn't realize I had any feelings for him til we met so he payed no aprt at all in me and exdp splitting up.

I think I just wanted to get some opinions on his words and phrases and various texts he has sent me recently- I do find it hard to work out men! smile

The problem is that he is such a lovely genuinely sweet soul I find him harder to read. He certainly isn't my usual type or the sort of man who would go straight in for a shag or dirty text talk or anything. (neither would I).

That night when we were kissing he also said to me "what are you thinking?" I said "that you make me smile, how about you?" and he said "Im thinking sometimes I wish I didn't have so much self control". I took that s a compliment meaning he'd like to be doing more but his morals mean he's too much of a gent on a "first date". What do you lot think?

Was lovely seeing him today even just for a brief 10min chat. He makes me go all giddy and gives me butterflies. He said he'd text me tomorrow and hopefully he will. As I said we've been texting back and forth a few times a day since we last met and he often texts late at night if he's been out in town just saying goodnight and seeing how I am. I wonder if he would still text that much if he just saw me as a mate and had no romantic feelings for me. Would it be normal to have daily contact with an old friend who you hadn't seen for 12 years and have now only met the once so far?

Trying not to let my thoughts get carried away, he may not even fancy
me and Im already visualising how great we could be together. swoon

lazarusb Sun 28-Aug-11 21:12:24

It can take a while to get used to a nice man. Take your time and enjoy smile

NearlySpring Sun 28-Aug-11 21:22:19

Thanks Lazarusbs- Havent found out I he's interested or not yet though- will have to wait and see what happens when we meet up next week smile

loopylou6 Sun 28-Aug-11 21:35:24

Aww smile Yes he's so into you. I reckon he said what he said about jumping in to soon coz he was hoping for reassurance from you that you do really reciprocate his feelings. How sweet grin

NearlySpring Mon 29-Aug-11 11:33:34

Hmm ok, so there's been a development. Well maybe not. He text me last night just saying hello and asking what me and my daughter have planned for today (bank holiday Monday) as he has to work I knew he wasn't asking to see if I were free. I replied and at the end of my text I put "will be nice to see you again next week, i promise not to get drunk and try and snog you again" I meant it as a joke but in hindsight I think it may have given him the impression that either I didn't want it to happen again or I only did it as I was drunk (neither are true). Argh! What a Wally. Now he hasn't relplied. Don't want to text again now and make him feel like Im bombarding him with texts... I need to get a grip, taking dd to the park to try and get this man out of my head smile

lazarusb Mon 29-Aug-11 11:49:05

Oh! Fgs....text him and say 'I DEFINITELY will snog you, just won't be drunk smile'.....then there is no chance of him getting mixed messages! I've always been fond of the upfront approach grin Faint heart never won fair bloke (or something like that!).

cathkidstonbag Mon 29-Aug-11 12:23:13

I think you need to text again! Sorry but he's now sitting there thinking you aren't interested! Just send him one more to rectify your mistake and put the poor bloke out of his misery :D

Fairenuff Mon 29-Aug-11 13:09:52

I think you should 'phone him and speak to the man himself. It's so difficult to put the tone you want in a text which is why it can be misunderstood. Just give him a ring and say what you really meant.

brodanbell Mon 29-Aug-11 13:53:50

Eeek! As I read your message I pulled an 'eeeek' did she really say that face? Agree, you need to rectify this - say whatever you need to, blame it on being nervous and that butterfly feeling you have constantly (you can tell him this, sounds like he'd like to hear it) , cos that's true and say of course that is not what you meant, you'd like to kiss his face off etc etc. And PLEASE refrain from sarcasm in your text messages for now, it can be hard to read!

waitingfornaru Tue 30-Aug-11 22:02:45

Oooh, watching with interest, I recently had a thread asking people for views on whether a man liked me after being in daily contact for two years! I absoultey could not tell if he did despite everyone and his uncle telling me otherwise ... turns out they were right, but with a twist confused

I'm still hopeful though blush it feels too right to consign to experience just yet.

This Thread Here

NearlySpring Thu 01-Sep-11 22:11:44

Thanks for all your replies so far.

So, since I last came on here... I didn't send another message to rectify the crap mixed signs one about "promise not to snog you" one and he never mentioned it! Since then we've text every day just simple "how's work" no flirting of any kind from him as usual no "darling" "sweetie" or any similar words either. All quite boring.

As I said before we had said we'd meet up sometime this week and loosely mentioned Saturday night. I decided not to mention it unless he did to gauge his interest in me and he just text and said "are you still free Saturday night?" I replied "Yes, would you like to meet up then?" He replied "Yes! Afternoon or evening? What shall we do?" (I actually made a eeeeek sound!)

Now, I don't have a babysitter Sat night and can't really afford to go out again this week and last time we went to the pub so would be far more
convenient if he came to my place although babysitter and spare cash wouldn't be impossible. I text back "How about you come over to mine in the evening? I could cook and we can watch a film and have a few drinks- or is that a bit boring?"

Do you think that's ok for a second "date"? I don't want him to think Im going to pounce on him. He's such a sensitive sweet man, I do worry perhaps Im a little loud and overbearing sometimes.

Argh.... what if he doesn't reply or what if he declines.... Off to wash up so I don't sit here waiting for a reply!

wileycoyote Thu 01-Sep-11 23:29:39

Well, any response?

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